Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[AZDryHeat]

He was hit by a car while jaywalking across a busy street.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He was hit by a car while jaywalking across a busy street.

Last seen getting sucked into a vortex.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Last seen getting sucked into a vortex.

Has announced an effort to revive the notorious Channel J from 1980's Manhattan..

https://nypost.com/2018/01/10/new-yorks-public-access-tv-was-a-cesspool-of-soft-core-porn/

 

[DeckardNYC]

Has announced an effort to revive the notorious Channel J from 1980's Manhattan..

https://nypost.com/2018/01/10/new-yorks-public-access-tv-was-a-cesspool-of-soft-core-porn/

He's the first person arrested for sodomy in the U.S. in 23 years.

 

[VoraciousValue]

He's the first person arrested for sodomy in the U.S. in 23 years.

Let the A-Team slip through his fingers right when he had them in his grip one more time. . . .

 

[DeckardNYC]

Let the A-Team slip through his fingers right when he had them in his grip one more time. . . .

He discovered a cure for male pattern baldness.

 

[Sinstories]

He discovered a cure for male pattern baldness.

With his bare hands, captured the alligator that has been menacing the NYC sewers for decades.

 

[Cat]

With his bare hands, captured the alligator that has been menacing the NYC sewers for decades.

He used the incident to write an article about the endangered species of NYC sewers, and made it to the UN, where he made a speech with Angelina Jolie

 

[Fingerfuxs]

He used the incident to write an article about the endangered species of NYC sewers, and made it to the UN, where he made a speech with Angelina Jolie

Streaking ………………..across the sky in her space cruiser


……."……………….. ……………….. …………………🛰


People would be in awe of her message of kindness and laughter and friendship


and everyone lives happily ever after

 

[Sinstories]

He used the incident to write an article about the endangered species of NYC sewers, and made it to the UN, where he made a speech with Angelina Jolie

Without the alligators in the sewers, the stray cat population exploded and she used her feminine charms to solicit funds to build a shelter to house them all.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Without the alligators in the sewers, the stray cat population exploded and she used her feminine charms to solicit funds to build a shelter to house them all.

Says he won a huge lottery but accidently burned the ticket.

 

[_valkyrie_]

DeckardNYC made the evening news for climbing Mount Kilimanjaro on a unicycle, whilst playing cymbals all the way to the top. This stunt of his provoked an avalanche, where seven people were caught by the torrent of snow and had to be rescued by the mountain crews.

 

[DeckardNYC]

DeckardNYC made the evening news for climbing Mount Kilimanjaro on a unicycle, whilst playing cymbals all the way to the top. This stunt of his provoked an avalanche, where seven people were caught by the torrent of snow and had to be rescued by the mountain crews.

Obviously, Valkyrie won a Pulitzer Prize for creative writing!!

 

[DeckardNYC]

Obviously, Valkyrie won a Pulitzer Prize for creative writing!!

He was named King of the World, and declared a 365 day holiday!

 

[water_moutina]

He was named King of the World, and declared a 365 day holiday!

What about leap years?

 

[Cabooseluvr]

She exceeded her water consumption during lockdown!

 

[VoraciousValue]

She exceeded her water consumption during lockdown!

Hit #1 on the Billboard chart with a polka interpretation of "Baby Got Back."

 

[DeckardNYC]

Hit #1 on the Billboard chart with a polka interpretation of "Baby Got Back."

His cigar exploded in Dupont Circle.

 

[VoraciousValue]

His cigar exploded in Dupont Circle.

The Mets are so desperate that they actually hired him as their new manager.

 

[DeckardNYC]

The Mets are so desperate that they actually hired him as their new manager.

He should know, he's a Mets fan.

 

[VoraciousValue]

He should know, he's a Mets fan.

Has decided to fight in the Ukraine as a mercenary armed with an automatic assault weapon, two handguns, bandoliers, grenades, hunting knives, and a book full of bad Russian puns.

 

[Series 6]

Has decided to fight in the Ukraine as a mercenary armed with an automatic assault weapon, two handguns, bandoliers, grenades, hunting knives, and a book full of bad Russian puns.

Started a new QANON theory that Groucho Marx will return to run as vice president

 

[Sundayschild]

Started a new QANON theory that Groucho Marx will return to run as vice president

It was discovered he was actually Parallel6 for redundancy reasons.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Started a new QANON theory that Groucho Marx will return to run as vice president

They probably have already. They think JFK is still alive and he'd be 104 years old now.

It was discovered he was actually Parallel6 for redundancy reasons.

Has announced a run for MP under the Labour Party in an effort to restore sanity to British politics. Unfortunately, his seat has been in Tory hands since 1825.

 

[Series 6]

They probably have already. They think JFK is still alive and he'd be 104 years old now.


Has announced a run for MP under the Labour Party in an effort to restore sanity to British politics. Unfortunately, his seat has been in Tory hands since 1825.

Loves the feel of a Tory hand