Rambling Rosie's Retreat

I’m feeling quite down. The news, the dark weather.. it all affects my mood. Just watched Escape to the country. That helps.

Do people here use certain gadgets (meditation-tools, breathing tools) to brighten the mood?
I use a light therapy lamp every morning.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World is romantic and light and goofy and clever and funny and just a little video game style violent, and it works for me.
One of my favorites.

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Truth

d) All of the above
 
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"Fucksake Rosie, get off your arse and go outside then!" Easier said than done.

Things get too much.
People start conversations and I get flustered, can't make eye contact and give short replies. I even get anxious on here where I can take my time and process my thoughts before replying.

I overthink or downplay any possibility that someone might be doing more than just being friendly or kind partly because I honestly can't tell and partly because deep down I'm still the shy, awkward girl that people pretended to ask out just to make their friends laugh. True story.

Even now I look in the mirror and can't see any redeemable qualities. I know I'm a nice person. But that isn't enough to make anyone want to stay. I can't magic wand myself into someone people would want and personality alone isn't enough.

Something has to give. I need to make real changes and that is terrifying. But not as much as doing nothing.

I've tried dating apps and they're all horrible. I did meet a couple of nice people but they didn't want anything serious and I still don't really know what I want, other than to not be alone anymore.

I'm writing not for sympathy or to fish for compliments or to invite randos to my inbox (please don't, you will not be replied to) but to just process my thoughts. They're much easier to figure out in front of me than rattling around in my brain.
 
9d31cfe9d96a40bd95ef3e82e44ca085c393187b.pnj


"Fucksake Rosie, get off your arse and go outside then!" Easier said than done.

Things get too much.
People start conversations and I get flustered, can't make eye contact and give short replies. I even get anxious on here where I can take my time and process my thoughts before replying.

I overthink or downplay any possibility that someone might be doing more than just being friendly or kind partly because I honestly can't tell and partly because deep down I'm still the shy, awkward girl that people pretended to ask out just to make their friends laugh. True story.

Even now I look in the mirror and can't see any redeemable qualities. I know I'm a nice person. But that isn't enough to make anyone want to stay. I can't magic wand myself into someone people would want and personality alone isn't enough.

Something has to give. I need to make real changes and that is terrifying. But not as much as doing nothing.

I've tried dating apps and they're all horrible. I did meet a couple of nice people but they didn't want anything serious and I still don't really know what I want, other than to not be alone anymore.

I'm writing not for sympathy or to fish for compliments or to invite randos to my inbox (please don't, you will not be replied to) but to just process my thoughts. They're much easier to figure out in front of me than rattling around in my brain.
πŸ©·πŸ«‚πŸŒ·
 
9d31cfe9d96a40bd95ef3e82e44ca085c393187b.pnj


"Fucksake Rosie, get off your arse and go outside then!" Easier said than done.

Things get too much.
People start conversations and I get flustered, can't make eye contact and give short replies. I even get anxious on here where I can take my time and process my thoughts before replying.

I overthink or downplay any possibility that someone might be doing more than just being friendly or kind partly because I honestly can't tell and partly because deep down I'm still the shy, awkward girl that people pretended to ask out just to make their friends laugh. True story.

Even now I look in the mirror and can't see any redeemable qualities. I know I'm a nice person. But that isn't enough to make anyone want to stay. I can't magic wand myself into someone people would want and personality alone isn't enough.

Something has to give. I need to make real changes and that is terrifying. But not as much as doing nothing.

I've tried dating apps and they're all horrible. I did meet a couple of nice people but they didn't want anything serious and I still don't really know what I want, other than to not be alone anymore.

I'm writing not for sympathy or to fish for compliments or to invite randos to my inbox (please don't, you will not be replied to) but to just process my thoughts. They're much easier to figure out in front of me than rattling around in my brain.
Are you on the spectrum? Fellow autie here
 
One car viewed. I've driven past Cribbs Causeway before but we had to go in today. It's blinkin huge. Huge blinkin buildings. Part of our trip tomorrow takes us close to a mural of Leah Williamson and a pilgrimage is warranted.
 
Are you on the spectrum? Fellow autie here
Probably. I've been on a waiting list for well over a year to be assessed. Can't afford to do it privately unfortunately.
And I know a diagnosis doesn't come with a magical scroll that will give me the power to function like I want to but I'll still feel better knowing one way or another I guess.
 
One car viewed. I've driven past Cribbs Causeway before but we had to go in today. It's blinkin huge. Huge blinkin buildings. Part of our trip tomorrow takes us close to a mural of Leah Williamson and a pilgrimage is warranted.
Forgive my shameful ignorance haha but is she a footballer? I don't follow it (mens or womens) but I've seen you talk about it before
 
Forgive my shameful ignorance haha but is she a footballer? I don't follow it (mens or womens) but I've seen you talk about it before
She is!
She got me through covid with her chatty videos and by being the poster girl for England women's footie. I have a massive crush and even wrote a story that included her.
Never been to a game yet though because it'd mean huge crowds, noise, unfamiliar places, trains and all those things I dread.
 
Probably. I've been on a waiting list for well over a year to be assessed. Can't afford to do it privately unfortunately.
And I know a diagnosis doesn't come with a magical scroll that will give me the power to function like I want to but I'll still feel better knowing one way or another I guess.
I started an autie thread at Lit - nothing erotic, just a place to swap tales and stuff. Lit is thick with spectrum folks
 
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