Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because...

[DeckardNYC]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I'm going to take my buddy kurrginatorX out for a drink -- it seems that pet chicken of his that he's been so attached to, suddenly died (but he won't tell me how).

 

[kurrginatorX]

SDBWEHSTB I got too drunk with Deckard and he--What the fuck? Deckard, why are you fucking my wife?

 

[done_got_old]

SDBWEHSTB your test results came back today and you're infected with three STDs.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I fucked kurrginatorX's wife like we talked about, and now I have salmonella.

 

[kurrginatorX]

SDWCHSTB my dick fell off inside a leper whore.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I'll be busy counting the all the cents I put into The Swear Jar.

 

[13Fantasies]

Valkyrie got me drunk and I passed out

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you are helping get 13Fantasies, who drunkenly passed out in the stables, after suffering a rejection from Herta, the goat, back to the lodge. You take the feet.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you're thousands of miles away from me on another coast.

 

[13Fantasies]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you are helping get 13Fantasies, who drunkenly passed out in the stables, after suffering a rejection from Herta, the goat, back to the lodge. You take the feet.

Ouch.

Now my credibility is shot.

 

[done_got_old]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you brother left me with an infection.

 

[DarkSimian]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you met another and you were gone

 

[LadyJS]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I swore I'd cut your nuts off if we ever met again.

 

[Taegul]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I just opened 48 bags of M&Ms and I'm alphabetizing each and every one. Why are there so many W's?

 

[Taegul]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because working the bachelorette party wore me out tonight.

 

[PNWKitten]

Sorry darling we cant have sex tonight because I was left bound over a saw horse in ph! Never mind. carry on .....

 

[done_got_old]

Sorry darling we cant have sex tonight because I'm meeting your father later.

 

[julybaby04]

....because ....well, no one else is here

 

[BongoGal]

Sorry, darling. We cant have sex tonight because I was extremely careless with some superglue.

 

[Taegul]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I just got a call from 666-666-6666 and the deep voice on the other end said that Hell has officially frozen over.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

*writes on paper* Sorry Darlin, we can't have sex tonight because I've taken a vow of silence and I can't be quiet when I'm inside you.

 

[Taegul]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because a kid pointed and laughed at me this morning and now my confidence is ruined. #SoEmo

 

[lurkingguy1978]

...because I can only disappoint so many people in a day, and I hit my quota...

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I've heard the Apocalypse is happening now. Wouldn't want to miss it. Apparently, it's a once in a lifetime event.

 

[LadyJS]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because rumor has it you're nothing but a limp-dicked weasel.