Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because...

[kurrginatorX]

SDWCHSTB I got a botox injection in my penis so it wouldn't look old, so we have to wait a week.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you need to learn how to spell first. When I read your message, telling me to get home quickly because you had "a severe case of the cuties", I was more than ecstatic. It is not the same thing as a severe case of the cooties, which is what you have and what I dreadfully come to learn about.

 

[kurrginatorX]

SDWCHSTB My hardware is acting like software. It must be the malware.

 

[Jing83]

It’s that time of month

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

SDWCHST because I spent some time banging your best friend...

 

[tnh_06]

Because she says I am still me and that’s not likely to change

 

[UgliestSon]

I got too wasted off beer and some random girls vape pen offer and just want to go to Waffle House and come home and listen to Jay Reatard records.

 

[kurrginatorX]

SDWCHSTB there is a Walking Dead marathon on.

 

[Taegul]

SDWCHSTB I overdosed on grape-flavored crayons again and this Keebler elf wants to take me to his hidden workshop in the forest to taste some new cookies he's baked.

 

[Que]

Because I am driving and the last time I got road head many years ago I ended up pulled over and sobriety tested.

 

[Jada59]

It's not your turn! I'm having sex with that other guy!

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because the cat is out of the bag and I have to go look for her before it's dark.

 

[kurrginatorX]

SDWCHSTB I just put a stick of chewing gum in my mouth.

 

[gingerotica]

I have a fucking headache

 

[doctorlisa29]

Im so sore from your brother, last night

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Im so sore from your brother, last night

Welcome to Lit!

I already jerked off on your mom's picture...

 

[DarkSimian]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I just got the video I ordered on how to play the banjo, and I really want to get started...

 

[Taegul]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I just got paroled. Enjoy your next cellmate!

 

[DarkSimian]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I have jury duty in the morning

 

[MrPractical]

Sorry Darling , we cant have sex tonight because I am cooking beans...one at a time.

 

[kurrginatorX]

SDWCHSTB there are still needles in my penis from my acupuncture session earlier today.

 

[Lia Monde]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because the Night King has breached the Wall.

 

[cliteatingman]

Sorry Darling, we can't have sex tonight because I am totally soent after an all day session with your best friend!

 

[gingerotica]

Sorry Darling, we can't have sex tonight because you didn't say the magic word.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I have to go out stalking the neighbour.