Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because...

[Deacon_Voss]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you don't like it when I bring sharp, metallic items to bed with us.

Or when you stomp on my dick

 

[LadyJS]

Or when you stomp on my dick

That's called foreplay

 

[chame1eon]

Or when you stomp on my dick

That's called foreplay

When I was a stripper a guy asked me to do that.

 

[mulehead61]

A 90 Day Fiancé repeat episode is on...

 

[Deacon_Voss]

That's called foreplay

Uh huh, so Sweetie . . . I think it's time we saw a therapist. The kind you see in porn. You know, the kind that's female, and seduces me SO I CAN FINALLY GET LAID!!

Hehehe, you know I love ya

 

[Taegul]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because Thadeus Thundercock has to go save the world.

 

[GinaGabriellini]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because you're still in lockdown, so you're not getting any!

 

[Xerxes82]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I am sick and tired of hearing you moan Brad Pitt's name during sex. Just once, can't you recognize the superior artistic contributions of Matt Damon?

 

[RaineDrops]

Sorry darling, we can’t have sex tonight because I got new batteries yesterday and they last much longer than you do.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because this is the night of the year when I go out and sacrifice a live alligator for the crops. You know, the alligator I've kept in that 12-foot cage for the past six months??

 

[Deacon_Voss]

And you’re driving him?


Sorry, D, we can’t have sex tonight because... I want someone else.

Ouch, that hurt

*holds hands over heart*

Sorry, we can't have sex tonight, because I can't get your sister out of my bed

 

[Jada59]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because my nails are wet!

 

[vidiman]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because there are statues to 'un-erect'

 

[VoraciousValue]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I took my Viagra too slowly and now my neck's hard.

 

[HornyJunkMail]

Sorry darling we can't have sex tonight because when it comes to sexual connection you're still on dial up!

 

[LadyJS]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because that extra dose of Ex-Lax I slipped you earlier will be kicking in shortly!

 

[TexasTumbleweed]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because the kids came to visit for the weekend !!!

 

[Inbef]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I compared the different sperm banks in town for a newspaper article.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because a stiff breeze hit me right in the pants earlier today while I was looking at a photo of Mindy Kaling. The result should be obvious.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I still have the knotted rag up my ass from the last time we did it!

 

[MegJustWrites]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I don't appreciate being called by another woman's name

 

[KinkyLaughs]

Sorry Darling, we can't have sex tonight because frankly, the sex we had last night, this morning and this afternoon has me wiped out

Thanks!

 

[KinkyLaughs]

Lol, no Thank You

 

[VoraciousValue]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I stuck my cock in the vacuum cleaner this morning and it's all bandaged up now.

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Sorry darling we can't have sex tonight because I have booked a small green parrot to imitate your voice.