Tal's Thread. Fuck yeah.

[Tallulah82]

Morning folks!!

Good morning, gorgeous

Hope life is being kinder to you!

 

[iLackBrainCells]

Well, my sleep didn't go to plan.

Morning folks!!

Good morning mate. How are you doing?

 

[Tallulah82]

Well, my sleep didn't go to plan.

Good morning mate. How are you doing?

Never mind. You're stuck inside, you have all day to rest.

 

[iLackBrainCells]

Never mind. You're stuck inside, you have all day to rest.

Indeed. Is it too early to start on the whiskey? My meds aren't working.

Either that, or you just bash me on the head.

 

[Tallulah82]

Indeed. Is it too early to start on the whiskey? My meds aren't working.

Either that, or you just bash me on the head.

In this weather, it's never too early.

 

[iLackBrainCells]

In this weather, it's never too early.

Haha. I think I'll grab a hot bath soon. Soap myself up and do slip 'n' slide in the tub - I know - that conjures up bad images!

 

[Tallulah82]

Haha. I think I'll grab a hot bath soon. Soap myself up and do slip 'n' slide in the tub - I know - that conjures up bad images!

Like a worm in the mud.

 

[iLackBrainCells]

Like a worm in the mud.

Oi, I know it's not huge but it isn't a worm!

Oh...

 

[Tallulah82]

Oi, I know it's not huge but it isn't a worm!

Oh...

It could be worse. You could be drinking tequila and trying not to swallow the worm.

 

[iLackBrainCells]

It could be worse. You could be drinking tequila and trying not to swallow the worm.

Giving a blowjob to myself? There's an idea... Oh who am I kidding - I think it's time I fetched the Dyson out.

 

[Tallulah82]

Giving a blowjob to myself? There's an idea... Oh who am I kidding - I think it's time I fetched the Dyson out.

I thought you broke the hoover last time? Remember to use the hose attachment this time. I can't believe no-one told you not to try and balance the whole unit on your crotch.

 

[iLackBrainCells]

I thought you broke the hoover last time? Remember to use the hose attachment this time. I can't believe no-one told you not to try and balance the whole unit on your crotch.

I didn't break the hoover... The hoover broke me! I showed you my cock in the cast, didn't I? Still, at least it was pink!

I'm angry with the woman in the shop. I asked her if it was well balanced and good at sucking and she never gave me a warning!

 

[Tallulah82]

I didn't break the hoover... The hoover broke me! I showed you my cock in the cast, didn't I? Still, at least it was pink!

I'm angry with the woman in the shop. I asked her if it was well balanced and good at sucking and she never gave me a warning!

Ohhhh. That was your cock in a cast? Uhm. I thought you were just showing me a plaster cast of a miniature figure you were making... Oops. Sorry!

Hmm, don't be blaming the woman in the shop! Now you know how to do it properly. Have fun!

 

[iLackBrainCells]

Ohhhh. That was your cock in a cast? Uhm. I thought you were just showing me a plaster cast of a miniature figure you were making... Oops. Sorry!

Hmm, don't be blaming the woman in the shop! Now you know how to do it properly. Have fun!

You really know how to cut a guy down to size. No pun intended.

 

[Tallulah82]

You really know how to cut a guy down to size. No pun intended.

Hmm. Sorry. It's second nature. Let me rephrase some of that.


Oh, Brains. Your anaconda is magnificent! You must struggle to buy jeans! Do you ever get suspicious looks in an airport?

*swoons*

 

[iLackBrainCells]

Hmm. Sorry. It's second nature. Let me rephrase some of that.


Oh, Brains. Your anaconda is magnificent! You must struggle to buy jeans! Do you ever get suspicious looks in an airport?

*swoons*

I know that this is snark but I don't care - I'LL TAKE IT!

At last someone appreciates my impressive display of manhood. *struts and feels manly* Everyone thinks I have an aubergine down my jeans.

It's a hard life when Subway name their biggest sandwich after you. Footlong. *nods*

 

[Tallulah82]

I know that this is snark but I don't care - I'LL TAKE IT!

At last someone appreciates my impressive display of manhood. *struts and feels manly* Everyone thinks I have an aubergine down my jeans.

It's a hard life when Subway name their biggest sandwich after you. Footlong. *nods*

Fuck! You were going sooo well! I was truly impressed with your reply. Until you said about the footlong. And all I could think was "Do you want extra cheese on that". And that's it.

I'm never going near your cheesy dick again.

 

[iLackBrainCells]

Fuck! You were going sooo well! I was truly impressed with your reply. Until you said about the footlong. And all I could think was "Do you want extra cheese on that". And that's it.

I'm never going near your cheesy dick again.

I haven't got a cheesy dick! Shut up! No woman is going to touch me again. Thanks for single-handedly ruining my sex life.*sobs*

 

[Tallulah82]

I haven't got a cheesy dick! Shut up! No woman is going to touch me again. Thanks for single-handedly ruining my sex life.*sobs*

Hey! You were the one to compare your dick to a Subway sandwich! And anyone who knows Subway knows that it's all about the cheesy meatballs. Standard question - do you want extra cheese!

I'm just using what you give me.

Don't worry. The hoover doesn't judge. She'll suck you good anyways.

 

[Echo5Mike]

personally I always go with the extra meat annnnnd cheese...

 

[iLackBrainCells]

Hey! You were the one to compare your dick to a Subway sandwich! And anyone who knows Subway knows that it's all about the cheesy meatballs. Standard question - do you want extra cheese!

I'm just using what you give me.

Don't worry. The hoover doesn't judge. She'll suck you good anyways.

I never have cheese on my Subway. I'm normal. Not like you, you weirdo.

I'm not sticking my dick back in the hoover. I'd rather take my chance with the bacon slicer.

Well I'm not staying here if you're not going near my dick! I'll give up waiting for a soapy tit wank and go have a bath!

 

[Tallulah82]

personally I always go with the extra meat annnnnd cheese...

Of course you do. Pack it all in nice'n'tight, too, huh?

 

[Echo5Mike]

Of course you do. Pack it all in nice'n'tight, too, huh?

I try, sometimes all my meat doesn't fit between the buns tho

 

[Tallulah82]

I try, sometimes all my meat doesn't fit between the buns tho

I'm shocked. No, really. So, the excess just oozes out the sides? Or do you ask for bigger buns?

 

[iLackBrainCells]

I try, sometimes all my meat doesn't fit between the buns tho

You can ask for more bread.