The Grass Is Always Greener...

[tolyk]

I'll take you up on that offer...because I think you won tonight...and that just can't happen again...

I won what?

 

[southerntierguy]

Also, you must be thinking about what your life will be like when you will be single... ... what are you looking forward to the most?

MG

Oh, and travel ... been a LONG time since I've gone out and done something new like that. First year and a half, I'm going to take a trip to east Africa, take a cruise to the western Caribbean (although two ladies named Katrina and Rita are making me think about the timing), and maybe head down to Rio for Carnival. There's no way my not-soon-enough ex would leave the U.S. on vacation, and even at that, I've never been rafting down the Colorado river (another destination on my list).

I guess this really falls in the category of "no longer needing permission or needing to negotiate the right to do what I want, or to take joint funds to do what I want." It's rather selfish, and I'd rather had a partner who cared, but if I'm going to be on my own, I don't have to account for my actions to anyone else -- so long as they are legal, of course.

 

[sunbunny3]

Oh, and travel ... been a LONG time since I've gone out and done something new like that. First year and a half, I'm going to take a trip to east Africa, take a cruise to the western Caribbean (although two ladies named Katrina and Rita are making me think about the timing), and maybe head down to Rio for Carnival. There's no way my not-soon-enough ex would leave the U.S. on vacation, and even at that, I've never been rafting down the Colorado river (another destination on my list).

I guess this really falls in the category of "no longer needing permission or needing to negotiate the right to do what I want, or to take joint funds to do what I want." It's rather selfish, and I'd rather had a partner who cared, but if I'm going to be on my own, I don't have to account for my actions to anyone else -- so long as they are legal, of course.

I think that the whole not having it ask permission thing is one of the best parts of being single. I do what I want when I want.. but still getting hassle from youngest child about the whole cereal for dinner issue..lol.

 

[montrealgirl]

I won what?

You won our first chase around Lit...but I make the rules, so...

"You're It!"

 

[montrealgirl]

Oh, and travel ... been a LONG time since I've gone out and done something new like that. First year and a half, I'm going to take a trip to east Africa, take a cruise to the western Caribbean (although two ladies named Katrina and Rita are making me think about the timing), and maybe head down to Rio for Carnival. There's no way my not-soon-enough ex would leave the U.S. on vacation, and even at that, I've never been rafting down the Colorado river (another destination on my list).

I guess this really falls in the category of "no longer needing permission or needing to negotiate the right to do what I want, or to take joint funds to do what I want." It's rather selfish, and I'd rather had a partner who cared, but if I'm going to be on my own, I don't have to account for my actions to anyone else -- so long as they are legal, of course.

Thanks so much STG for your great post on my thread I'm really happy you posted your thoughts...you write great, honest, thought-provoking posts everywhere...I think that's great...

I hope your transition into the single life goes well...By the sounds of it, singleville should be less stressful...wonderful idea about travel...I've traveled a lot thus far but haven't in about a year now (well, venezuela last december)...looking forward to graduating so I can start exploring the world with more vigour....

cheers,
MG

 

[montrealgirl]

Another one to add...

I miss the feeling that you have when you think you've found someone really great and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside whenver you think of them..the way your stomach jumps a bit whenever you see them, or when they say just the right thing...that sure is a nice feeling....

 

[southerntierguy]

Another one to add...

I miss the feeling that you have when you think you've found someone really great and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside whenver you think of them..the way your stomach jumps a bit whenever you see them, or when they say just the right thing...that sure is a nice feeling....

That is an excellent feeling ... makes you feel connected to so many other things all at once.

Nice to see you back, hope you enjoyed the holiday.

 

[montrealgirl]

That is an excellent feeling ... makes you feel connected to so many other things all at once.

Nice to see you back, hope you enjoyed the holiday.

Thanks...I did, and still am....I am actively pursuing other interests...but it is nice to come in and catch up on a few threads from time to time

 

[Stryderthorongil]

Hi Montrealgirl. Nice to meet you . I have been wandering around this place for awhile, first time I saw this thread. Very interesting.

I have been in a one person relationship for a long time. There are many aspects of this relationship that are wonderful. However, there is something I miss. When you are single, with separate lives, you can't wait to see each other. When you get together, it is instant relaxation, helping to solve the others problems or worries. Even if you are down, there is an instant smile that releases stress, knowing someone cares.

When in a long-term relationship, the problems that once were separate become one. There is no one to release that stress, because both are feeling the same stress, to some degree. A person can leave there friends or colleagues with smiles on their face, only to replace it with a frown as the person you love, that life long partner, comes into sight as you walk in the door.

It is so hard to separate your lives from your problems. To remain supportive when the stress you feel is doubled by the other person feeling the same. This separation is possible, but it takes work and many relationships can't withstand the pressure and eventually explode. I still work very hard at preventing the pressure from building, but the freedom of being single or the quiet fling on the side, where that old stress release is present, is always a temptation. Perhaps this is the cause of many affairs, not sure there.

Anyway, I do miss that excitement, the quick smile, the freedom. The ultimate goal is to find that with your long-term partner. Tough to find, but perhaps worth the effort.

Again, nice to meet you Montrealgirl

 

[darkpassions81]

Another one to add...

I miss the feeling that you have when you think you've found someone really great and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside whenver you think of them..the way your stomach jumps a bit whenever you see them, or when they say just the right thing...that sure is a nice feeling....

I definately second that sentiment.... I miss that quite a bit. The way that they always seem to take the time to put their words just right. The way you sort of make it a point to bump into that person... etc...

 

[montrealgirl]

Hi Montrealgirl. Nice to meet you . I have been wandering around this place for awhile, first time I saw this thread. Very interesting.

I have been in a one person relationship for a long time. There are many aspects of this relationship that are wonderful. However, there is something I miss. When you are single, with separate lives, you can't wait to see each other. When you get together, it is instant relaxation, helping to solve the others problems or worries. Even if you are down, there is an instant smile that releases stress, knowing someone cares.

When in a long-term relationship, the problems that once were separate become one. There is no one to release that stress, because both are feeling the same stress, to some degree. A person can leave there friends or colleagues with smiles on their face, only to replace it with a frown as the person you love, that life long partner, comes into sight as you walk in the door.

It is so hard to separate your lives from your problems. To remain supportive when the stress you feel is doubled by the other person feeling the same. This separation is possible, but it takes work and many relationships can't withstand the pressure and eventually explode. I still work very hard at preventing the pressure from building, but the freedom of being single or the quiet fling on the side, where that old stress release is present, is always a temptation. Perhaps this is the cause of many affairs, not sure there.

Anyway, I do miss that excitement, the quick smile, the freedom. The ultimate goal is to find that with your long-term partner. Tough to find, but perhaps worth the effort.

Again, nice to meet you Montrealgirl

Thanks Stryder for stopping by my one and only thread I really enjoy reading what people have to say on the topic...

I found your comments very interesting indeed...and they were not previously mentioned by other posters...but I think I know exactly what you are referring too...I remember that feeling of excitement and relaxation I had once upon a time...and how it was eventually replaced with the stressful one...Interesting theory on these types of emotions fuelling extra-marital affairs...I can for sure see how that could be the case...

Again, thanks for coming by, and it certainly was a pleasure to meet you too.

MG

 

[Stryderthorongil]

Thanks Stryder for stopping by my one and only thread I really enjoy reading what people have to say on the topic...

I found your comments very interesting indeed...and they were not previously mentioned by other posters...but I think I know exactly what you are referring too...I remember that feeling of excitement and relaxation I had once upon a time...and how it was eventually replaced with the stressful one...Interesting theory on these types of emotions fuelling extra-marital affairs...I can for sure see how that could be the case...

Again, thanks for coming by, and it certainly was a pleasure to meet you too.

MG

You are welcome MG. This is a nice place to visit. Feel free to stop by my one and only thread, although it has gone rather quiet recently.

 

[montrealgirl]

You are welcome MG. This is a nice place to visit. Feel free to stop by my one and only thread, although it has gone rather quiet recently.

Your thread is a very welcoming place indeed

 

[lancewannabe]

and then there are those of us that ARE married and still miss the the things you just listed...some of the time, at least.

what do i miss about being single?

~ flirting and playing the fun game of cat and mouse, the anticipation...variety!

yes, we are still able to flirt and have fun with others when we're married, but it's just not quite the same knowing that it won't lead to anything.

Bravo BBB! You hit the nail right on the head. Playing and flirting are somewhat exciting as a married person, but knowing it won't go anywhere beyond that is a bit of a wet blanket on the whole thing.

 

[montrealgirl]

Bravo BBB! You hit the nail right on the head. Playing and flirting are somewhat exciting as a married person, but knowing it won't go anywhere beyond that is a bit of a wet blanket on the whole thing.

Hey Lance...fancy meeting you here

Thanks for stopping by and adding to my thread.

MG

 

[lancewannabe]

Hey Lance...fancy meeting you here

Thanks for stopping by and adding to my thread.

MG

My pleasure. Love the dialog! Keep up the good work!

 

[montrealgirl]

Playing and flirting are somewhat exciting as a married person, but knowing it won't go anywhere beyond that is a bit of a wet blanket on the whole thing.

So does that mean that you are a very faithful husband? Have you ever been tempted to stray elsewhere? Do you find monogamy difficult?

 

[Midnite Toker]

Fucking anyone I want to.

 

[montrealgirl]

I think that the whole not having it ask permission thing is one of the best parts of being single. I do what I want when I want.. but still getting hassle from youngest child about the whole cereal for dinner issue..lol.

This is I think the issue I brought up on page one...I think it must be hard to move from thinking and making decisions only for yourself to including someone else, and then if you have kids, them too...I can't imagine having to check with someone before I did anything...from the little things like how to spend $ and what to have for dinner, what to do on weekend, what telly show to watch...can't even imagine when it comes to the big issues...THAT will be very hard for me to adjust to for sure if I ever shack up again...

 

[montrealgirl]

Fucking anyone I want to.

Wow, when you were single then did you have that much choice!?

 

[Tap-Out]

I'm single now and I really miss being in a relationship.

I miss knowing that there's someone out there that thinks the world of me. I miss looking forward to going home every day and to have her waiting for me. I miss having someone I can talk to for hours on end about anything and everything, the weather, how my day was, or what's going on in my or her life. I miss knowing that no matter what I had someone I could count on for anything. Be it a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to me, a pat on the back when I do something right or a swift kick in the arse when I do something really dumb. I miss knowing there is someone out there who will support me no matter what.

I miss the intimacy you can grow to have with a partner. As time goes on you get to know what turns her on. What really gets her going. Your bodys seem to fit together like a glove. It's more than just sex then, it's actuially making love.

Yeah I'm one lonely bloke these days.

 

[Burokrat]

Single here.

What I miss the most?

Simple.

Sharing intimate emotions. Whether artistic, sexual, negative, positive.

This is it.

 

[montrealgirl]

I'm single now and I really miss being in a relationship.

I miss knowing that there's someone out there that thinks the world of me. I miss looking forward to going home every day and to have her waiting for me. I miss having someone I can talk to for hours on end about anything and everything, the weather, how my day was, or what's going on in my or her life. I miss knowing that no matter what I had someone I could count on for anything. Be it a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to me, a pat on the back when I do something right or a swift kick in the arse when I do something really dumb. I miss knowing there is someone out there who will support me no matter what.

I miss the intimacy you can grow to have with a partner. As time goes on you get to know what turns her on. What really gets her going. Your bodys seem to fit together like a glove. It's more than just sex then, it's actuially making love.

Yeah I'm one lonely bloke these days.

Hey Tap-Out,

Thanks for stopping by my thread and answering yet another question. What an eloquent thought out answer...I suspect these were some of the issues you were thinking about last night at work during your down time?

I agree with you on pretty much everything, especially the part about growing intimacy...Best sex I ever had was with my boyfriend, even if it wasn't really adventurous...it's great to be with someone you love and who in turns loves you...

But hey, for now, I think its better to be single knowing the possibility to find that special someone exists, than to be married to someone who doesn't fulfill all your needs, or worse, who doesn't want to make love to you at all...which does seem to be a reality for many Lit posters...Thats what I keep telling myself anyway

MG

 

[montrealgirl]

Single here.

What I miss the most?

Simple.

Sharing intimate emotions. Whether artistic, sexual, negative, positive.

This is it.

Thanks for stopping by Burokrat...and for sharing your thoughts.

MG

 

[preacher.mk]

bump--