The 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm'

[Stella_Omega]

Did you fuck her?

Oral, anal, vaginal, finger fuck, fuck her with a toy? Any of the above? No details needed, a yes or no answer will do.

yanno, this is a very good question!

 

[BLoved]

Your argument doesn't make any sense-- I stated you were deluding yourself at least two weeks ago, and you are still an isolated asshole who is screaming about the dangers of modern life -- from the safety of your internet connection.

You are not challenging the merits of my arguments with regards to casual 'bdsm'.

Nor are you even challenging the ethics of my relationship.

You are merely crowing over the fact it ended.

Meanwhile ignoring the fact that the only reason you know it ended is because I announced it.

Obviously it takes very little to entertain small minds.

 

[WriterDom]

You are not challenging the merits of my arguments with regards to casual 'bdsm'.

.

But "your way" is a counter argument is it not?

You brought your personal life into this, not us. If you are going to use the Bloved way as the only true way then you better have your ducks in a row. Otherwise you are no better than a republican senator preaching family values while sucking cock in the airport bathroom stall.

 

[BLoved]

You brought your personal life into this, not us.

At the time I was being accused of having started this to attract a lady.

I explained I was already in a relationship, and wasn't looking.

 

[WriterDom]

At the time I was being accused of having started this to attract a lady.

I explained I was already in a relationship, and wasn't looking.

Then a whole separate thread about the tragic and sudden end of "casual" love.

 

[BLoved]

Now, I will ask you again. Are you implying that because we pay an entrance fee to the dungeon when I attend with my Mistress and Sir that I am a whore to be bought and sold via the entrance fee for sexual favors?

I think there is a conflict of interest between generating revenues and safety.

FurryFury made it clear one need only chit-chat through a munch to get invited to "pay and play" at a 'play party'.

Not exactly what I would call a thorough screening process.

You said you are not a "selling point", but I don't think you've taken into account the fact that most people who attend a public casual 'bdsm' event are there to satisfy voyeuristic cravings, not unlike a strip club.

Certainly that was what was on the minds of the 200+ people (mostly men) who attended the public event I witnessed. None of them were active participants. Nearly all of them were unknown to the organization that held the event. They just walked in off the street.

Even less of a screening process than being required to chit-chat through a munch.

Apparently the casual community's desire for cash trumps any concern for safety. What few 'safety protocols' that seem to be in place appear to be no more than window-dressing, a bluff.

That's why they require people to sign waivers absolving the organization of any blame should things go wrong.

If they were truly concerned about safety there would be a much more extensive screening process, which would eliminate any possibility of strangers walking in off the street and would properly screen applicants to ensure some minimum standard of sanity and stability.

Presumably this screening process would be objective and neutral when it comes to gender and role (in other words, it would not be biased towards novice fem subs).

FurryFury claimed such a screening process is unneccessary because that is not the 'kind of relationship' he/she was seeking.

FurryFury ignores the fact that an extensive screening process is just as valid a method for reducing risk as it is for finding a beloved.

If indeed safety was paramount for casual 'bdsm' communities, then they would implement such screening processes to ensure the safety of their members.

Instead, screening is kept to a bare minimum (chit-chat through one munch), presumably so as not to disqualify anyone willing to increase the revenues of the organization so as to "pay and play" (to use FurryFury's words).

I can imagine there are a lot of men willing to pay to watch.

Considering bdsm itself involves a degree of risk, I do not see how this risk is "*mitigated*" (to use Netzach's word) by adding 200+ strangers who haven't even been screened, or by adding an unknown number of strangers who managed to chit-chat through a munch and were willing to "pay and play".

 

[BLoved]

Then a whole separate thread about the tragic and sudden end of "casual" love.

Which occurred some six weeks after I informed this discussion that I was involved.

True, I could have hidden the fact that our relationship ended. I could have continued talking here as if we were still together.

But as I explained:

I am truly sorry you are experiencing heartbreak.

I truly don't understand your motivation for this post.

I have spoken extensively and eloquently on the joy of Love.

What kind of a coward would I be if I hid the fact life has decided to deal me yet another cruel blow?

Perhaps it provides perspective to know that as I was responding to CM here I was dealing with the news that my Beloved had decided to leave.

Love offers no guarantees, only opportunities.

 

[RuReal]

The type of play decides on the level or risk. I fly RC planes and guess what I get to sign? I also pay out money to both the club and to a separate insurance provider. You keep harping on money and where it goes, but there are tons of different things out there that we pay money into so that we can enjoy. It is the same thing.

You imply that subs are whores time and again yet you offer up no proof. People debate with you again and again and if you do not agree with them you state they are just wrong. We are all the whores of Babylon to you or so it would seem. BDSM involves negotiations for the scene for the relationship ect ect ect. This is not to say that sometimes bad things do not happen. Bad things happen everywhere. Let me go back to RC flying I know that someone had their fingers cut off by the prop on a plane. Does that mean it is evil no that means someone messed up. Where the police called in for that event no, but someone went to the hospital.

Going to the movie is dangerous crossing the street is dangerous. We as human being control our risks. Are there bad people out there yes there are for all we know you could be one of them. Every interaction everyone has is a matter of judgement and risk assessment.

You claim to know what love is and seem to be the only one according to your comments. Here is a little hint you are not the only one to have loved and lost nor are you the only one to try to find love again. Been there done that and won at the game.

Should we be taking advice about Love, BDSM, and relationships in general from someone who does not seem to have mastered any of these things?

I have never had a woman suddenly vanish and leave without explanation. You seem to have some problems with communication yet you are trying to preach to others on relationships. I think the people calling into question your past relationship are probably in the right.

Frankly I think you are here for attention and we are providing it in spades. Just a note for you in the future you cannot fix people. People have to fix themselves and want to make changes. For someone so long into the world you should know that.

 

[WriterDom]

Which occurred some six weeks after I informed this discussion that I was involved.

True, I could have hidden the fact that our relationship ended. I could have continued talking here as if we were still together.

But as I explained:

This thread would have suited that purpose just as well, no? After all, you posted in here 77 times yesterday. That's your business, but this thread seems to have become a wake up to bedtime obsession with you. I just don't see the payoff in having the same argument with the same dozen or so people is accomplishing.

Unless this is fun to you. Then I can see why she left.

 

[BLoved]

Every interaction everyone has is a matter of judgement and risk assessment.

Rather difficult to assess the risk when those who advertise such events refuse to provide clear and accurate information about the risks involved.

As for your efforts to cast aspersions on my character because a relationship failed ... I am sure I am not the first person on the planet who had to endure such a loss. I doubt anyone who was involved in a relationship that failed has had to carry the burden you'd lay on my shoulders.

Apparently to criticize the casual community requires one to first be perfect, and to never ever suffer the loss of a relationship.

Meanwhile, to be allowed to "pay and play" at a 'play party' merely requires someone to chit-chat their way through a munch.

Not much of a double-standard there.

 

[chy_girl]

I think there is a conflict of interest between generating revenues and safety.
*snip*
.........
*snip*
Considering bdsm itself involves a degree of risk, I do not see how this risk is "*mitigated*" (to use Netzach's word) by adding 200+ strangers who haven't even been screened, or by adding an unknown number of strangers who managed to chit-chat through a munch and were willing to "pay and play".

You did not answer my question. Either of them. Please try again.

Thank you for answering my questions.

Now, I will ask you again. Are you implying that because we pay an entrance fee to the dungeon when I attend with my Mistress and Sir that I am a whore to be bought and sold via the entrance fee for sexual favors?

A yes or no answer is fine.

The merits of my arguments against casual 'bdsm' have nothing to do with my relationship with my beloved.

You did not concede the merits when I was involved, I do not see any basis for dismissing the merits because the relationship ended.

Did you fuck her?

Oral, anal, vaginal, finger fuck, fuck her with a toy? Any of the above? No details needed, a yes or no answer will do.

A yes or no answer will work here too. Come on, don't be shy. Did you, or did you not "make love" with your beloved?

 

[BLoved]

You did not answer my question. Either of them. Please try again.

I've provided the answer I deem appropriate for your question.

As for this:

Did you fuck her?

Oral, anal, vaginal, finger fuck, fuck her with a toy? Any of the above? No details needed, a yes or no answer will do.

I don't believe anyone should feel the need to answer such a question.

 

[chy_girl]

I've provided the answer I deem appropriate for your question.

As for this:



I don't believe anyone should feel the need to answer such a question.

And I asked for a yes or no answer. Clear, concise, and cutting out the bull shit.

As for whether you fucked her, I am curious. You call the validity and worth of my relationship into question and then implied that I am a whore open for service when my people take me out. I want to know how much you are practicing what you preach?

 

[Netzach]

Then you've never known what it is like to love and be loved.

Once experienced nothing less will suffice.

A portrait in self esteem.

 

[Netzach]

The crazy train has jumped the track at this point.

It was casual sex, then guns, now money. Let's see how far it can reach just NOT to have to say something like "I don't have a lot of experience with this and don't know everything"

the kind of statement a healthy self esteem seems to muster once in a while.

 

[Netzach]

Certainly that was what was on the minds of the 200+ people (mostly men) who attended the public event I witnessed. None of them were active participants. Nearly all of them were unknown to the organization that held the event. They just walked in off the street.

Keep on lying.

Another thing that events do to at least enforce a modicum of commitment to fetish is dress code. You won't "wander in" to a Baroness party in NYC by accident.

The fact that you have no experience in reality shows. You're wearing it poorly. You want everything to think I'm not talking about things to which I've been privy for years and you quote me contextually to make me look like a whore (as if that makes me worse than a liar) but you are lying and everyone with a couple of forays out into a world you claim to understand doesn't even recognize your fiction.

But you're like a dog with a bone, a dangerous bone to someone who thinks that "nice guys" are safer than "scary SM people" and someone who's liable to wander into drama of the minute in torrid three week forever relationships and sport a new collar every week and wonder why it's not working.

 

[BLoved]

It was casual sex, then guns, now money.

You've forgotten AIDs and other venereal diseases which are spread primarily through casual sex.

 

[BLoved]

Another thing that events do to at least enforce a modicum of commitment to fetish is dress code. You won't "wander in" to a Baroness party in NYC by accident.

There was no dress code for the public 'party" I witnessed.

 

[chy_girl]

And I asked for a yes or no answer. Clear, concise, and cutting out the bull shit.

As for whether you fucked her, I am curious. You call the validity and worth of my relationship into question and then implied that I am a whore open for service when my people take me out. I want to know how much you are practicing what you preach?

Still waiting...

 

[BLoved]

Still waiting...

Don't hold your breath.

 

[chy_girl]

Don't hold your breath.

So you don't even have to common courtesy to say what you me. Either yes, you do think I'm a whore for going to a paid event with my Mistress and Sir or no you do not think I'm a whore for going to a paid event with my Mistress and Sir.

And I think you're afraid to say that you fucked her because then you'd just like the rest of us.

 

[BLoved]

So you don't even have to common courtesy to say what you me. Either yes, you do think I'm a whore for going to a paid event with my Mistress and Sir or no you do not think I'm a whore for going to a paid event with my Mistress and Sir.

As I have never accused you of being a "whore", I view your sensitivity in this matter to be an issue that doesn't involve me.

I asked you questions and you answered them. Where you did not understand the questions, I clarified and then you answered. I've already provided you with my thoughts on the question of revenue generated by casual 'bdsm' communities and how that relates to safety.

As for this:

And I think you're afraid to say that you fucked her because then you'd just like the rest of us.

I have to wonder what you got out of interviewing me a few days ago, that you might think I'd answer such questions as these:

Did you fuck her?

Oral, anal, vaginal, finger fuck, fuck her with a toy? Any of the above? No details needed, a yes or no answer will do.

I don't believe anyone should feel the need to answer such a question.

 

[Epmd607]

You are not challenging the merits of my arguments with regards to casual 'bdsm'.

Nor are you even challenging the ethics of my relationship.

You are merely crowing over the fact it ended.

Meanwhile ignoring the fact that the only reason you know it ended is because I announced it.

Obviously it takes very little to entertain small minds.

lol. You're quite the entertainer, aren't you?

 

[BLoved]

lol. You're quite the entertainer, aren't you?

72 pages ... I guess so

 

[BLoved]

Just wanted to thank the individual responsible for providing me with my picture in a size literotica would accept.

namaste