The 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm'

[Stella_Omega]

You are not challenging the merits of my arguments with regards to casual 'bdsm'.

Nor are you even challenging the ethics of my relationship.

You are merely crowing over the fact it ended.

Meanwhile ignoring the fact that the only reason you know it ended is because I announced it.

Obviously it takes very little to entertain small minds.

Your relationship was unethical. YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

YOU.

SHOULD HAVE.

KNOWN.

BETTER.

According you YOUR standards, you, as the Dom, MUST be entirely responsible for your sub's well-being. You failed.

You do not have the skills needed to heal someone so badly abused. Your love alone is not enough.

And you ignore the plain and demonstrable fact that humans are not at their best in isolation. The BDSM comunity has three accumulated generations of knowledge at hand, all of which you scorn because of your ridiculous fixations.

You were willing to ignore the facts that your ex gave you about her life, which ought to have rung huge warning bells, in favor of her wishful thinking. You let yourself fall to wishful thinking. You do not live in a Harlequin romance, dude. If you want to play with psychologically complex toys you had better know what you are doing.

Stop trying to be a Dom. You got lucky once, that's all. Just find yourself someone who has her own autonomy, and be her sexual top.

 

[warrior queen]

Then you've never known what it is like to love and be loved.

Once experienced nothing less will suffice.

that comment proves conclusively that you have no idea what you're talking about.
making a statement that i have never known love, is incredibly stupid - especially given that all you know about me comes from a few words on a screen!

not only have i experienced love in it's most passionate, intimate and comfortable forms, but i have been fortunate enough to experience a connection (love of a different nature and form) that actually surpasses the traditional man/woman love i already have.

what must really get to you, is that most here who play in the casual community, not only have committed loving relationships in their lives, but also have quite strong and healthy self-esteem and self-worth!

it appears you WANT to have all that yourself....... but fail repeatedly in your quest!

i also believe that you should answer the question of whether or not you fucked your failed 3 week beloved - only then can you trully show that you practice what you so [endlessly] preach!

 

[BLoved]

Your relationship was unethical. YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

YOU.

SHOULD HAVE.

KNOWN.

BETTER.

According you YOUR standards, you, as the Dom, MUST be entirely responsible for your sub's well-being. You failed.

You do not have the skills needed to heal someone so badly abused. Your love alone is not enough.

And you ignore the plain and demonstrable fact that humans are not at their best in isolation. The BDSM comunity has three accumulated generations of knowledge at hand, all of which you scorn because of your ridiculous fixations.

You were willing to ignore the facts that your ex gave you about her life, which ought to have rung huge warning bells, in favor of her wishful thinking. You let yourself fall to wishful thinking. You do not live in a Harlequin romance, dude. If you want to play with psychologically complex toys you had better know what you are doing.

Stop trying to be a Dom. You got lucky once, that's all. Just find yourself someone who has her own autonomy, and be her sexual top.

In other words, those of us who are opposed to casual 'bdsm' have no business being involved in bdsm.

The only One True Way is casual 'bdsm'.

And apparently placing my faith in a victim of abuse and doing my best to help her is reason enough for scorn and ridicule to be heaped upon me.

Thank you for your opinion.

 

[BLoved]

that comment proves conclusively that you have no idea what you're talking about

....

i also believe that you should answer the question of whether or not you fucked your failed 3 week beloved - only then can you trully show that you practice what you so [endlessly] preach!

And thank you for your opinion.

 

[RuReal]

So 14 years ago you claim you attended a party that almost sounds like a dance club or something in Toronto. You cannot remember the name or the location but you what you saw there was evil. I still think that your facts sound off what you describe just does not seem right? Was this a regular party or some sort of special event?

I have never heard of a normal play party in this area hitting those kind of numbers even now and the community is larger than it was before. Things like that make me question what you say and is why I started reacting the way I did. Come up with some credible information to go with some facts that can be verified and then one might listen to you.

Otherwise my message stands you are a phony. It is not a matter of your relationship failing it is a matter that you are coaching on BDSM relationships when you seem to have no understanding of them. It is also the fact that you seem to have communication issues. How is someone with so many issues and missing information giving out advice on what is right and wrong within BDSM?

 

[BLoved]

you are a phony

~smile~

And thank you for your opinion.

 

[Stella_Omega]

In other words, those of us who are opposed to casual 'bdsm' have no business being involved in bdsm.

The only One True Way is casual 'bdsm'.

And apparently placing my faith in a victim of abuse and doing my best to help her is reason enough for scorn and ridicule to be heaped upon me.

Thank you for your opinion.

In other words, because you scorn the accumulated knowledge of what you call "casual BDSM" you lose the benefits of community.

You better believe it, placing your faith in a victim of abuse in the way that you did, is worthy of ridicule.

Wanting to help someone is always a good thing-- assuming you have the skills to help someone when you do not is arrogance, pure and simple. You're an amateur brain surgeon, and god help your next patient.

By the way-- thank you for quoting my entire post. Unusually ethical of you.

~smile~

 

[warrior queen]

he didn't quote my entire post..... guessing the concept of someone being in love, being secure in themselves, and also indulging in casual encounters without getting irreparably damaged doesn't quite gel with his ethos.

also guessing that he DID fuck his 3weektrueloveforever.... and calling him out as exactly the kind of person who he's so soundly demonizing isn't sitting too well either!

 

[Stella_Omega]

~smile~

And thank you for your opinion.

Some opinions are more equal than others. RuReal has some very convincing arguments for his.

Are you going to address them? Think about your invisible readers. They might be swayed by his post.

 

[BLoved]

So where does someone who doesn't believe in casual 'bdsm' belong?

I've got ImOnIt telling me to kill myself.

I've got the people in this discussion telling me to 'go back where ya come from, freak!'

28 years of experience with bdsm in loving relationships and I have people telling me I'm a phony who knows nothing about bdsm.

Four sites banned me for daring to speak about why I don't believe in casual 'bdsm'.

So much for diversity in bdsm.

So where does someone who doesn't believe in casual 'bdsm' belong?

 

[warrior queen]

So where does someone who doesn't believe in casual 'bdsm' belong?

I've got ImOnIt telling me to kill myself.

I've got the people in this discussion telling me to 'go back where ya come from, freak!'

28 years of experience with bdsm in loving relationships and I have people telling me I'm a phony who knows nothing about bdsm.

Four sites banned me for daring to speak about why I don't believe in casual 'bdsm'.

So much for diversity in bdsm.

So where does someone who doesn't believe in casual 'bdsm' belong?

it's not really about where you belong....
it's more about not telling [preaching to] others, who safely practise activities that you personally may not approve of, that they are destructive and wrong.

who the hell are YOU to tell anyone else anything?
you have never experienced what anyone else here has - yet you believe that you and only YOU know what is and is not the RIGHT way to behave.

how dare you belittle those whom you know nothing about, regarding a practise you have never participated in!

your opinions might have had some validity, had you not continued to insist that they apply to all casual players.

they do NOT relate to ALL participants in the casual BDSM community.... and the fact that you continue to claim to have the only right opinion makes you stupid and dangerous.
the casual BDSM community doesn't need someone like you, and i suspect that is why you have been thrown out of all those places where you attempt to preach!

your claims have been systematically nullified by people here who obviously know what they are talking about - yet you insist that everyone here is wrong, and that YOUR way is the ONLY way.
and even when you yourself disprove your own theories through your failure to maintain your own 'true love' relationship, as well as behaving in exactly the manner you so decry by fucking your 'true love' even while knowing she was emotionally unstable (i believe you did fuck her, even though you've continuously berated that kind of taking advantage of someone in a highly vulnerable state!) - you continue to argue a position you have no evidence of!

my only conclusion is that you yourself have so little self-esteem, that you have no choice but to try to find approval from others - and when that fails, you have the fallback of being able to say to yourself 'they are wrong'.
validating oneself through the INvalidation of others is the ultimate self destructive behaviour.

 

[BLoved]

it's not really about where you belong....

who the hell are YOU to tell anyone else anything?

Any idea how many people have told me to ignore people like you?

 

[warrior queen]

Any idea how many people have told me to ignore people like you?

people like me?
i guess you mean people who play in the casual BDSM community, yet are totally ok with what they do, are in long-term loving relationships, have healthy self-esteem and don't believe they are damaging themselves?

unless, of course, you actually meant 'people like you.... who don't completely agree with me!"?

 

[RuReal]

So where does someone who doesn't believe in casual 'bdsm' belong?

I've got ImOnIt telling me to kill myself.

I've got the people in this discussion telling me to 'go back where ya come from, freak!'

28 years of experience with bdsm in loving relationships and I have people telling me I'm a phony who knows nothing about bdsm.

Four sites banned me for daring to speak about why I don't believe in casual 'bdsm'.

So much for diversity in bdsm.

So where does someone who doesn't believe in casual 'bdsm' belong?

I am not into people defecating on others, but I do not go into a post and mention it every chance I get. You make claims that are questionable. Masters, doms, tops are all the same thing really? A 200 person play party with a stage where people were being handled against their will?

When things start to not sound right one starts to question other things. To add you cannot place a location or a name to where you were when you saw all of this. That would be like me saying I saw someone get there throat slit in a house 10 years ago. I can't remember where I saw the murder there is no body or police report, but I swear it really happened. There did not seem to be much blood, but you know those houses I would stay away from them.

This is kind of what you sound like when you speak.

Did you ever hear the term your kink is not my kink? That is how most of us treat BDSM related situations that do not work for us.

 

[BLoved]

people like me?

You hate those of us who don't agree with you.

You hate us because we remind you of what it is to be human, and how much you've failed to achieve your potential.

Where we have the courage to be vulnerable, to love, to stand up to people like you, you hate us for defying your 'authority'.

You insist we agree, and fail to recognize yourself as the tyrant.

 

[BLoved]

Those of us who love, who reject the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm' ...

... we're the niggers of bdsm.

 

[BLoved]

Kill yourself.

EDIT: Why you bring this shit to this message board i have no fucking idea.

Cease being a whining fuck (I dont doubt that you are) and sort your shit out. Fucking SORT. IT OUT. You have a blend of deluded, patronising, pseudointellectual ignorance that gets up the collective nose of this messageboard like lines of cayenne pepper, and it does not surprise me one bit that your shit is fucked up (you come across as a maniac)


fuck youuuuuuuu

As I said, those of us who reject the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm' are the niggers of bdsm.

 

[warrior queen]

You hate those of us who don't agree with you.

You hate us because we remind you of what it is to be human, and how much you've failed to achieve your potential.

Where we have the courage to be vulnerable, to love, to stand up to people like you, you hate us for defying your 'authority'.

You insist we agree, and fail to recognize yourself as the tyrant.

actually, i don't totally disagree with you.
but neither do i lump ALL players together.... because i actually participate in the community you yourself have never experienced!

i don't hate you either - i just think you are ignorant.

i have absolutely no authority, and i completely aknowledge that.
you, on the other hand, claim to be the ultimate authority on a subject you admit you cannot know about as you freely state that you don't participate in it!

who, exactly, is the tyrant here?

 

[warrior queen]

Those of us who love, who reject the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm' ...

... we're the niggers of bdsm.

oh, well played!
run with this line of reasoning!

[/sarcasm]

 

[BLoved]

oh, well played!
run with this line of reasoning!

[/sarcasm]

It's not the colour of the skin that makes a "nigger" out of a man ...

... it is the hatred.

 

[Bette_coquette]

Any idea how many people have told me to ignore people like you?

Would that be those people that have kicked you out of four forums? Yeah, I thought so.

 

[WriterDom]

Those of us who love, who reject the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm' ...

... we're the niggers of bdsm.

There is just you. And your half assed half baked silly theories.

I think I would have to vote to have you banished. Not for your message but because you are a self centered blowhard prick. How beloved lasted a month with you, I'll never know.

 

[Rosie_Riveter]

It's not the colour of the skin that makes a "nigger" out of a man ...

... it is the hatred.

I don't think it's hatred. Having read the entire thread, I'd vote for sick fascination.

You've managed to be profoundly nasty while appearing to be merely silly. It's a talent, I'll grant you that.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Those of us who love, who reject the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm' ...

... we're the BLANK of bdsm.

Just so you know I reported this post to a moderator.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

As I said, those of us who reject the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm' are the BLANK of bdsm.

And this one too.