🫧Chloe's Curiosities Captivated🫦

[Chloe_Harper]

I wanted to do a dance related post today. I thought I was going to speak on one thing, but then I saw this video, and an entirely different discussion formed in my silly little head.

First off, for those that don't know, I'm a dance nerd. I took dance from age 6 or 7, all the way to age 20. I danced competitively for about half that time. There are many forms of dance I've taken at least a class on, and I strive to get back into it once my body is more healed.

But, I still love dance. It's the most beautiful art form in my opinion. The things we can train our bodies to do with a combination of strength, grace, passion, and trust is simply unbelievable. And, something I realized watching this video that I never put together before, dance with a partner is a lot like a D/s relationship.

Both things take time, practice, patience, a high level of trust, and synchronicity. Yes, a dancer can learn to dance with any partner, just as a person can learn to have a good relationship with any partner. But, when you find a partner that complements your style, holds your trust and reciprocates it, and understands when you need a break, there isn't anything that can compete.

I could nerd out and delve further into all of this, but I have a feeling there will be more dance posts from me, so I will save them for another time.

 

[TXRafe]

Ok, I wanna do something just a little different with this post. I feel like I'm just blathering on and on and on some people feel like they wouldn't be adding anything insightful or new to the conversation with previous posts. So, this one...

View attachment 2493784

I wanna know how this image speaks to you. What do you see? What feelings arise? What fantasy plays out? Any of these questions or something else on your mind with this image is welcome

being the vanilla boy that i am, what i see in this picture is intimacy. his hands on her, her hands on him. the beginning of a deep and passionate kiss that will lead to an intense session of love making or fucking depending on what their needs are today. his stance on the floor with his hand on her neck, pulling her into him, claiming her as his. her hair tied, kneeling on the bed, waiting, ready and willing to accept everything he is going to do to her. her hand reaching out to touch him, letting him know that she is his and giving herself to him. if even for just a few short moments of intense passion, this is love.

 

[BrendaBear]

being the vanilla boy that i am, what i see in this picture is intimacy. his hands on her, her hands on him. the beginning of a deep and passionate kiss that will lead to an intense session of love making or fucking depending on what their needs are today. his stance on the floor with his hand on her neck, pulling her into him, claiming her as his. her hair tied, kneeling on the bed, waiting, ready and willing to accept everything he is going to do to her. her hand reaching out to touch him, letting him know that she is his and giving herself to him. if even for just a few short moments of intense passion, this is love.

Oh… okay…. That was hot…

Anything else?

Just kidding, that was hot just the way it was. I love your interpretation.

 

[Strixaluco]

But, I still love dance. It's the most beautiful art form in my opinion. The things we can train our bodies to do with a combination of strength, grace, passion, and trust is simply unbelievable. And, something I realized watching this video that I never put together before, dance with a partner is a lot like a D/s relationship.

Both things take time, practice, patience, a high level of trust, and synchronicity. Yes, a dancer can learn to dance with any partner, just as a person can learn to have a good relationship with any partner. But, when you find a partner that complements your style, holds your trust and reciprocates it, and understands when you need a break, there isn't anything that can compete.

Another dancer

In my life I've done competition dancing (10 dance) since kid and later social dancing (traditional ballroom dances and there are many, rock'n'swing, latin, mixes of those...), even oriental dancing which is the only solo of these. Never had a really good match when competing, the choice was always limited. But I know some men i love to dance with in the ballroom, neve mind the style. And occasionally you come across someone you just mesh with.

The beauty of social dancing is that, unlike competing on 10 dances, it's 100% made in the spot, lead and follow. Well, the leader may offer the follower space to improvise, and everyone has their own style, but there's no choreography. So leading and following is a must. (Sure, leading and following is done even with a choreography, but it's just not quite the same.) And since learning to actually follow, I learned that 1) I follow damn well and 2) I love following. With a good leader it allows me to empty my brain. I use to say that it's best to leave your brain in the coatroom, thinking is only a hindrance to following as it is way too slow!

And indeed, at best it feels like the lead comes from the spine of my dance partner straight to my spine... Meshing, indeed. It's 3 minutes in a different world. Or 2x3min, as partners only change every 2 songs here.

And all this while thinking myself as vanilla. A few months into my discovery in the bdsm world I realised the similarities. That I've, in fact, been kind of submitting even on the dance floor.

Now I haven't had the energy to spare to go dancing for quite a while, but I've also found that I don't miss it even nearly as much as I used to, as I get one major part of it with my love. And also I am not missing intimacy, which dance used to provide a substitute for. So I am only missing the beauty of the movement, but that's indeed the part I need to be more fit/healthy for...

 

[Chloe_Harper]

being the vanilla boy that i am, what i see in this picture is intimacy. his hands on her, her hands on him. the beginning of a deep and passionate kiss that will lead to an intense session of love making or fucking depending on what their needs are today. his stance on the floor with his hand on her neck, pulling her into him, claiming her as his. her hair tied, kneeling on the bed, waiting, ready and willing to accept everything he is going to do to her. her hand reaching out to touch him, letting him know that she is his and giving herself to him. if even for just a few short moments of intense passion, this is love.

This is just beautiful

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Another dancer

In my life I've done competition dancing (10 dance) since kid and later social dancing (traditional ballroom dances and there are many, rock'n'swing, latin, mixes of those...), even oriental dancing which is the only solo of these. Never had a really good match when competing, the choice was always limited. But I know some men i love to dance with in the ballroom, neve mind the style. And occasionally you come across someone you just mesh with.

The beauty of social dancing is that, unlike competing on 10 dances, it's 100% made in the spot, lead and follow. Well, the leader may offer the follower space to improvise, and everyone has their own style, but there's no choreography. So leading and following is a must. (Sure, leading and following is done even with a choreography, but it's just not quite the same.) And since learning to actually follow, I learned that 1) I follow damn well and 2) I love following. With a good leader it allows me to empty my brain. I use to say that it's best to leave your brain in the coatroom, thinking is only a hindrance to following as it is way too slow!

And indeed, at best it feels like the lead comes from the spine of my dance partner straight to my spine... Meshing, indeed. It's 3 minutes in a different world. Or 2x3min, as partners only change every 2 songs here.

And all this while thinking myself as vanilla. A few months into my discovery in the bdsm world I realised the similarities. That I've, in fact, been kind of submitting even on the dance floor.

Now I haven't had the energy to spare to go dancing for quite a while, but I've also found that I don't miss it even nearly as much as I used to, as I get one major part of it with my love. And also I am not missing intimacy, which dance used to provide a substitute for. So I am only missing the beauty of the movement, but that's indeed the part I need to be more fit/healthy for...

I love this!! And yes, classic ballroom dancing, no choreography usually, just following your partner, and your partner knowing how to guide you properly. I love this added POV

 

[Strixaluco]

I love this!! And yes, classic ballroom dancing, no choreography usually, just following your partner, and your partner knowing how to guide you properly. I love this added POV

It can happen with other dances as well...

Midsummer 2022. I realised that all the people I knew were very obviously dancing somewhere else, aka I had guessed wrong were they would be. No familiar men to be seen, and I didn't get to dance at first.
Until this one guy comes after almost everybody else is on the dance floor already, looking like he had seen a friend he absolutely must dance with -despite having never seen me before.

I recall it being a more relaxed variant of fast boogie woogie or jive (which is danced a lot here). It was like magic! I didn't even know I can dance so well, or many of those figures! I think I laughed worth a year during those 2 dances. Yeah, people watched. Didn't have to stand by the wall the rest of the evening. Took 2 days to recover.

Unfortunately I haven't seen him after that evening, as he was from far away. It was plenty fun.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Little Talk (pt 1)


This is Topaz. Newest, softest, bestest stuffy

So, I have mentioned in a previous post or two that one of my subby sides is my little side. It's not just some small part of me though. My little side is interwoven so seamlessly with my entire being. But, a lot of people don't really know what a little is or don't understand it, have misconceived notions about it. For years, it was a part of me only revealed to certain partners or in DDlg communities.

Not anymore.

To be a little is needing things that one usually only thinks about when people are younger. Coloring, bubbles, stuffed animals (stuffies), forts, lap time, etc. Those are just my favorites off the top of my head. Sometimes, I need to be in full littlespace, other times, my little is being fed through day-to-day moments.

A little needs a caregiver, in my case, Daddy. A lot of people use the word "Daddy" exclusively during sexual acts, but the word means so much more to me as a little. He is the person who nurtures and provides safety for me. He is the one who will hold me or play those little innocent games. He will never look down on me for needing to regress. He is more than just a Dom, for me. I am his, and he is mine.

I'm kinda rambling now. I need to organize my thoughts before my next post. But, I hope this gives insight to those who don't know. And to the littles and Daddys reading, I would love your thoughts on what it means to be a little or a Daddy

 

[BrendaBear]

Little Talk (pt 1)

View attachment 2496413
This is Topaz. Newest, softest, bestest stuffy

So, I have mentioned in a previous post or two that one of my subby sides is my little side. It's not just some small part of me though. My little side is interwoven so seamlessly with my entire being. But, a lot of people don't really know what a little is or don't understand it, have misconceived notions about it. For years, it was a part of me only revealed to certain partners or in DDlg communities.

Not anymore.

To be a little is needing things that one usually only thinks about when people are younger. Coloring, bubbles, stuffed animals (stuffies), forts, lap time, etc. Those are just my favorites off the top of my head. Sometimes, I need to be in full littlespace, other times, my little is being fed through day-to-day moments.

A little needs a caregiver, in my case, Daddy. A lot of people use the word "Daddy" exclusively during sexual acts, but the word means so much more to me as a little. He is the person who nurtures and provides safety for me. He is the one who will hold me or play those little innocent games. He will never look down on me for needing to regress. He is more than just a Dom, for me. I am his, and he is mine.

I'm kinda rambling now. I need to organize my thoughts before my next post. But, I hope this gives insight to those who don't know. And to the littles and Daddys reading, I would love your thoughts on what it means to be a little or a Daddy

Thank you so much for sharing this!! Someone tried to tell me about this before, but made the explanation so convoluted, I went away knowing less than when I went in. This makes a lot of sense to me.

And the elephant is adorable!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I wanna know how this image speaks to you. What do you see? What feelings arise? What fantasy plays out? Any of these questions or something else on your mind with this image is welcome

First off, excellent photography, crisp and clean and very cleverly lit. Kudos to the photographer!

Second off, being a het male, I'm drawn to the female form, and from what I perceive from that pic that's a great female form to perceive indeed!

Third, the posture of the two is romantic/loving and/or dominant/submissive, IMO - seems designed to tap dance on that dividing line and leave the interpretation in the eye of the beholder. With the lack of further clues, it could be otherwise, but that pair of pairings seem most likely in my personal opinion.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Thank you so much for sharing this!! Someone tried to tell me about this before, but made the explanation so convoluted, I went away knowing less than when I went in. This makes a lot of sense to me.

And the elephant is adorable!

Oh I'm so glad you felt like this was an explanation that made sense to you. I plan on diving further into it. Both on the generalizations of littles, but also my little side more specifically.

And, yea, the elephant (Topaz) is probably my favorite gift I've ever received

 

[Chloe_Harper]

First off, excellent photography, crisp and clean and very cleverly lit. Kudos to the photographer!

I agree!! Such great photography! I'm really drawn to pieces like this.

Second off, being a het male, I'm drawn to the female form, and from what I perceive from that pic that's a great female form to perceive indeed!

I think, no matter your sexual orientation, there is something that draws the eye to the female form. And this photo, that woman, is a great depiction in such a simple pose.

Third, the posture of the two is romantic/loving and/or dominant/submissive, IMO - seems designed to tap dance on that dividing line and leave the interpretation in the eye of the beholder. With the lack of further clues, it could be otherwise, but that pair of pairings seem most likely in my personal opinion.

I love how you see this, with the interpretation still being left open. I can see romantic/loving but also Dominant/submissive. There need not be a dividing line. But, I can also see the line when there is one, in this picture as well.


Thank you for sharing what you saw in this. For playing along with this little game of mine

 

[BrendaBear]

Oh I'm so glad you felt like this was an explanation that made sense to you. I plan on diving further into it. Both on the generalizations of littles, but also my little side more specifically.

And, yea, the elephant (Topaz) is probably my favorite gift I've ever received

Your description of what a Dom is for you, is very close to what I want as well. I don’t have a little side, but I think I understand it more now.

And this is dopey to mention, but I have lots of wonderful memories of performing with a few different bands at Topaz Lodge.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Little Talk (pt 1)

This is Topaz. Newest, softest, bestest stuffy

So, I have mentioned in a previous post or two that one of my subby sides is my little side. It's not just some small part of me though. My little side is interwoven so seamlessly with my entire being. But, a lot of people don't really know what a little is or don't understand it, have misconceived notions about it. For years, it was a part of me only revealed to certain partners or in DDlg communities.

Not anymore.

To be a little is needing things that one usually only thinks about when people are younger. Coloring, bubbles, stuffed animals (stuffies), forts, lap time, etc. Those are just my favorites off the top of my head. Sometimes, I need to be in full littlespace, other times, my little is being fed through day-to-day moments.

A little needs a caregiver, in my case, Daddy. A lot of people use the word "Daddy" exclusively during sexual acts, but the word means so much more to me as a little. He is the person who nurtures and provides safety for me. He is the one who will hold me or play those little innocent games. He will never look down on me for needing to regress. He is more than just a Dom, for me. I am his, and he is mine.

Here's the first place I have a reaction other than, "that's cool, glad it works for her." To me, the line between Daddy and Daddy is a very delicate one. As a father, there is a mental boundary that I just cannot begin to entertain - not to kink shame anyone or yuck some roleplay yum - this is about my perspective and experience. If I ever looked upon my daughter with any perspective other than that of her father, I would want immediate intervention on my behalf. There is also some private history here which colors my perspective. So, my daughter is my little princess, she is my little star, and I will always be her biggest protector until such a time that I hand her to another, as she wishes.

Now, for the D/s dynamic, it's delicate, as I mentioned. Similar to the protective role I have over my children, I want to be the shield that protects my little from the world. Not to say she can't handle her shit, because damn can she! But, I don't want her alone, and I want to be the protector for her. I want to provide the safest space and calmest seas she has in her life. I'll use "baby" to refer to her, but that's not a paternal feeling as I've never called my own children that as a name. A few nicknames for my daughter are shared to my little, but not because they occupy the same places in my life - it's that I see a similar role for myself in their lives. Come for my little, or for my daughter, and it won't end well for you - I promise that.

As is the same with almost everything in life, there is a spectrum, and I think this highlights it well. Your DDlg wants and needs do not look like that of me and my little treasure, though there are some places of shared commonality. None of us are wrong or right, we just align on different areas of the spectrum.

I'm kinda rambling now. I need to organize my thoughts before my next post. But, I hope this gives insight to those who don't know. And to the littles and Daddys reading, I would love your thoughts on what it means to be a little or a Daddy

When I hear, "Daddy" it's not necessarily sexual or romantic from my little, it's an honorific that signifies my place over her as her Dom and her place as my little. I think it's important to maybe explore the point that DDlg is not analogous to D/s. There can be significant overlap, but they are different things completely. A little may not be a submissive, though they usually do align. A Daddy may not be a Dom, but again, there is a high likelihood that they overlap.

Great topic, I'm looking forward to reading other perspectives.

 

[BrendaBear]

Here's the first place I have a reaction other than, "that's cool, glad it works for her." To me, the line between Daddy and Daddy is a very delicate one. As a father, there is a mental boundary that I just cannot begin to entertain - not to kink shame anyone or yuck some roleplay yum - this is about my perspective and experience. If I ever looked upon my daughter with any perspective other than that of her father, I would want immediate intervention on my behalf. There is also some private history here which colors my perspective. So, my daughter is my little princess, she is my little star, and I will always be her biggest protector until such a time that I hand her to another, as she wishes.

Now, for the D/s dynamic, it's delicate, as I mentioned. Similar to the protective role I have over my children, I want to be the shield that protects my little from the world. Not to say she can't handle her shit, because damn can she! But, I don't want her alone, and I want to be the protector for her. I want to provide the safest space and calmest seas she has in her life. I'll use "baby" to refer to her, but that's not a paternal feeling as I've never called my own children that as a name. A few nicknames for my daughter are shared to my little, but not because they occupy the same places in my life - it's that I see a similar role for myself in their lives. Come for my little, or for my daughter, and it won't end well for you - I promise that.

As is the same with almost everything in life, there is a spectrum, and I think this highlights it well. Your DDlg wants and needs do not look like that of me and my little treasure, though there are some places of shared commonality. None of us are wrong or right, we just align on different areas of the spectrum.


When I hear, "Daddy" it's not necessarily sexual or romantic from my little, it's an honorific that signifies my place over her as her Dom and her place as my little. I think it's important to maybe explore the point that DDlg is not analogous to D/s. There can be significant overlap, but they are different things completely. A little may not be a submissive, though they usually do align. A Daddy may not be a Dom, but again, there is a high likelihood that they overlap.

Great topic, I'm looking forward to reading other perspectives.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

To me, the line between Daddy and Daddy is a very delicate one. As a father, there is a mental boundary that I just cannot begin to entertain - not to kink shame anyone or yuck some roleplay yum - this is about my perspective and experience.

Yes! Everyone's perspectives and experiences are so vastly different. I'm never here to yuck anyone's yum, or force my yum on someone. My father was never "Daddy", and the two don't even crossover for me in that regard at all. I can see how a parental perspective certainly makes the way one looks at such phrases and dynamics with a more discerning eye, with your very clearly drawn boundaries.

I want to be the shield that protects my little from the world. Not to say she can't handle her shit, because damn can she! But, I don't want her alone, and I want to be the protector for her. I want to provide the safest space and calmest seas she has in her life.

I love this. A subby doesn't need her Dom because she can't handle things on her own. But, knowing that she has that support is so vital, or even just someone to lean on after handling her shit. No matter the dynamic, if you both don't feel safe with one another, then something needs to change.

Your DDlg wants and needs do not look like that of me and my little treasure, though there are some places of shared commonality. None of us are wrong or right, we just align on different areas of the spectrum.

100% yes! Just like I said, there are generalizations for littles, but this was a lot of what fit specifically for me.

I think it's important to maybe explore the point that DDlg is not analogous to D/s. There can be significant overlap, but they are different things completely. A little may not be a submissive, though they usually do align. A Daddy may not be a Dom, but again, there is a high likelihood that they overlap.

Yes! Again! One does not mean the other. For me, they are both intermingled and separate. But, this is not the case for all, or even many.

Great topic, I'm looking forward to reading other perspectives.

Thank you! And me too!!!

 

[Strixaluco]

I'm kinda rambling now. I need to organize my thoughts before my next post. But, I hope this gives insight to those who don't know. And to the littles and Daddys reading, I would love your thoughts on what it means to be a little or a Daddy

I've discussed this in the threads Daddy's Little Girl 3 & 4. I'm not sure my brain is willing to do a short version...

It's along the same lines regarding safety etc. The world is overwhelming and I need a break from it. But I don't do age play, no use in offering me glitter and stuffies etc. I "just need to be taken care of", as my online Daddy said 3 years ago. And sure, I may have silly innocent humour at times... Give me an unintended pun without noticing, and I may very well turn it into something intended! Or I may surprise him with silly funny kisses or licks. It took him a while to get used to being kissed on his nose! He's still not used to all my other regular targets...

I don't actually ever call my Dom 'Daddy', in any language. Neither of us would feel comfortable with it. I Finnish the wrong connotation feels too big for us (despite neither having used it for our father's and we don't have kids either), and using English doesn't feel natural. In Finnish the term used for dynamic is actually Big/little. I sometimes use 'Big' when talking about him among other littles, but seldom to himself. It doesn't really depend on what I call him anyway.

Having a DD/lg relationship has changed, relaxed me in such a manner that I even finally stopped masking. On my last visit to my last phycologist she commented on me be softer... No wonder! Even my autism had come visible.

And now this little tries to get some sleep.

 

[Sammysub07]

So, I have mentioned in a previous post or two that one of my subby sides is my little side. It's not just some small part of me though. My little side is interwoven so seamlessly with my entire being. But, a lot of people don't really know what a little is or don't understand it, have misconceived notions about it. For years, it was a part of me only revealed to certain partners or in DDlg communities.

Not anymore.

I love that your little side is so much of who you are. What I love even more is that you're becoming more comfortable revealing it and talking about it. I think an open dialogue about any topics that are often misunderstood can only lead to everyone having a greater understanding of one another!

To be a little is needing things that one usually only thinks about when people are younger. Coloring, bubbles, stuffed animals (stuffies), forts, lap time, etc. Those are just my favorites off the top of my head. Sometimes, I need to be in full littlespace, other times, my little is being fed through day-to-day moments.

I think there is a much broader spectrum of littles that can also be delved into here. The spectrum of littles can range anywhere from littles that prefer age/cos play, other littles that need the comforts they were drawn to when they were younger; i.e. your bubbles, stuffies, coloring, etc., and other littles that just feel the need to be comforted, smaller, tender, and protected from the harder parts of their day. There's commonalities that are woven through the basic needs of all littles, I'll get to that more below.

A little needs a caregiver, in my case, Daddy.

This is one of the basic needs that are woven through the needs of most littles. To be cared for on a soft and tender level. There to fulfill the needs that a little may want in certain moment. Though, not all littles refer to their caregiver as Daddy. For me and my Treasure Keeper, he is my Daddy in these moments. As we've talked before, my need for this comes from far too many years of being alone, needing to be in charge, and on top of every little thing for so long. I've often gone without cared for for so long, sometimes the need to be soft and tender is overwhelming. In those moments, I can need one of two things; a lap to cuddle up in with his arms around me or some of the most softest and tender snuggles. Other times I need to be taken rough and my energy depleted, thus clearing me of my thoughts. Either way MTK knows when I've articulated my needs and he'll ask what it is that I find myself needing.

He is the person who nurtures and provides safety for me.

Another one of the basic needs that I think are woven through the needs of most littles. The nurturer and provider of safety. That nurturer who cares for your growth and development. Wants to do what they can to help you be the very best version of yourself. The provider of safety. What a need, right?! To have that person who makes you feel like they've got you in their bubble of protection. This overlaps as a cornerstone of kink, play, and D/s. Without it there should be none.

He is more than just a Dom, for me. I am his, and he is mine.

Girl! This is everything for me. I don't think this extends to just littles though. I think it runs anywhere from the most of vanilla of relationships to the most intense of dynamics. I am his and he is mine, one hundred percent pride.

I'm kinda rambling now. I need to organize my thoughts before my next post. But, I hope this gives insight to those who don't know. And to the littles and Daddys reading, I would love your thoughts on what it means to be a little or a Daddy

I love your rambles and look forward to more.

I want to be the shield that protects my little from the world.

Daddy! You do such a wonderful job. Thank you.

Not to say she can't handle her shit, because damn can she!

I like that I'm able to handle my shit and have you to be there to help me come down from it all. To be soft, tender, and cared for with you. Your Little.

A few nicknames for my daughter are shared to my little, but not because they occupy the same places in my life - it's that I see a similar role for myself in their lives. Come for my little, or for my daughter, and it won't end well for you - I promise that.

Swoon. Protection. This, MTK, is why I say you make my submission to you so easy.

As is the same with almost everything in life, there is a spectrum, and I think this highlights it well. Your DDlg wants and needs do not look like that of me and my little treasure, though there are some places of shared commonality. None of us are wrong or right, we just align on different areas of the spectrum.

There are definitely some basic needs that are woven commonalities among all types of littles and they look different for everyone. Just like with kink, there are ways that littles are different for everyone.

When I hear, "Daddy" it's not necessarily sexual or romantic from my little, it's an honorific that signifies my place over her as her Dom and her place as my little.

Daddy is definitely my sweeter honorific for you. Typically used by me when I'm feeling softer and more tender. Though it's definitely still a term of respect for you as my Dom, just as Sir is.

I think it's important to maybe explore the point that DDlg is not analogous to D/s. There can be significant overlap, but they are different things completely. A little may not be a submissive, though they usually do align. A Daddy may not be a Dom, but again, there is a high likelihood that they overlap.

I agree with this. There are definitely times where DDlg and D/s overlap but the are also separate.

 

[BrendaBear]

I would like to pose a question... I think anyone who knows me, knows I'm not someone to obey. I'm going to do, what I want to do. I think my spirit animal is probably a cat, because... well yeah.

But I've been reading these beautiful things written here about a Dom... and so much of that is what I desire, and feel like I badly need. I'm not a Little, although I relate so much to what you all wrote about it. I need to be in restraints to tell me I am desired and loved. It is a huge thing to me. But... as someone who has always had to kind of take on everything in order to do anything... I just assume that following "orders"? Not likely. The smart ass runs deep in me. But.... there are things I can imagine (fantasize) about being ordered to do that just make me squirm and make inappropriate noises to.

I love the idea of wearing a collar - a day collar, and at the right time, a proper collar. I love the idea of being lead with a leash. Being his (or her) property. And they in turn, are mine. But... what does it mean to obey?

Maybe I have it all wrong... maybe with the right Dom, I would be so much more gratified to "serve"? My personal thoughts have always been about pleasing my lover. Making them feel so good, they will not want to get rid of me. But.... today I find myself wondering about what it really means to obey.

What does that mean? What are you asked to do? Please help me to understand this aspect better.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

I love that your little side is so much of who you are. What I love even more is that you're becoming more comfortable revealing it and talking about it. I think an open dialogue about any topics that are often misunderstood can only lead to everyone having a greater understanding of one another!

Thank you it's come with a lot of self-reflection and discovery, especially more recently. But, having that open dialogue was something I felt was important with the more I was revealing of myself.

I think there is a much broader spectrum of littles that can also be delved into here. The spectrum of littles can range anywhere from littles that prefer age/cos play, other littles that need the comforts they were drawn to when they were younger; i.e. your bubbles, stuffies, coloring, etc., and other littles that just feel the need to be comforted, smaller, tender, and protected from the harder parts of their day. There's commonalities that are woven through the basic needs of all littles, I'll get to that more below.

100% all of this! I didn't go into the broader spectrum of littles, but there's definitely a wide variety, just like in any dynamic!

This is one of the basic needs that are woven through the needs of most littles. To be cared for on a soft and tender level. There to fulfill the needs that a little may want in certain moment. Though, not all littles refer to their caregiver as Daddy. For me and my Treasure Keeper, he is my Daddy in these moments. As we've talked before, my need for this comes from far too many years of being alone, needing to be in charge, and on top of every little thing for so long. I've often gone without cared for for so long, sometimes the need to be soft and tender is overwhelming. In those moments, I can need one of two things; a lap to cuddle up in with his arms around me or some of the most softest and tender snuggles. Other times I need to be taken rough and my energy depleted, thus clearing me of my thoughts. Either way MTK knows when I've articulated my needs and he'll ask what it is that I find myself needing.

I love this explanation so much, and it definitely resonates with me.

Another one of the basic needs that I think are woven through the needs of most littles. The nurturer and provider of safety. That nurturer who cares for your growth and development. Wants to do what they can to help you be the very best version of yourself. The provider of safety. What a need, right?! To have that person who makes you feel like they've got you in their bubble of protection. This overlaps as a cornerstone of kink, play, and D/s. Without it there should be none.

Agreed, fully with all of this, but especially that bolded part.

Girl! This is everything for me. I don't think this extends to just littles though. I think it runs anywhere from the most of vanilla of relationships to the most intense of dynamics. I am his and he is mine, one hundred percent pride.

I love your rambles and look forward to more.

Oh, thank you I love how my rambles lead to so many different perspectives and connections in this little corner of Lit

Daddy is definitely my sweeter honorific for you. Typically used by me when I'm feeling softer and more tender. Though it's definitely still a term of respect for you as my Dom, just as Sir is.

I love how you phrased that for y'all, "my sweeter honorific for you." I think that that is such a beautiful way of explaining it for you that others might feel similarly to.

 

[TXRafe]

I would like to pose a question... I think anyone who knows me, knows I'm not someone to obey. I'm going to do, what I want to do. I think my spirit animal is probably a cat, because... well yeah.

But I've been reading these beautiful things written here about a Dom... and so much of that is what I desire, and feel like I badly need. I'm not a Little, although I relate so much to what you all wrote about it. I need to be in restraints to tell me I am desired and loved. It is a huge thing to me. But... as someone who has always had to kind of take on everything in order to do anything... I just assume that following "orders"? Not likely. The smart ass runs deep in me. But.... there are things I can imagine (fantasize) about being ordered to do that just make me squirm and make inappropriate noises to.

I love the idea of wearing a collar - a day collar, and at the right time, a proper collar. I love the idea of being lead with a leash. Being his (or her) property. And they in turn, are mine. But... what does it mean to obey?

Maybe I have it all wrong... maybe with the right Dom, I would be so much more gratified to "serve"? My personal thoughts have always been about pleasing my lover. Making them feel so good, they will not want to get rid of me. But.... today I find myself wondering about what it really means to obey.

What does that mean? What are you asked to do? Please help me to understand this aspect better.

i certainly cant speak for everyone...i know for me, that i am not good at giving orders or tasks, and really have no desire to do so. i also dont enjoy the idea of "punishments". sex for me is about fun and intimacy. now, i am much better with "directions" and choosing not to follow those directions in the course of a "game/scene" there can certainly be consequences. whether its spanking, teasing, edging...its something i decide in the moment based on how im reading my sub/littles energy, mood, and needs. this doesnt work for everyone. some subs/littles need the direction, they need the punishment and i completely understand and accept that, but it isnt me as a dom/daddy. i found that finding the right partner takes so much communication, boundaries, self-awareness, and empathy. it also means "kissing a lot of frogs" in order to realize what it is that you really need. but if you are open and honest (both with your potential partners and with yourself) you can find what it is that you need and through that the ultimate pleasure and connection.

ps. i just want to add that "kissing a lot of frogs" isnt meant to be negative in any way what so ever. i just cant think of a better way to communicate the idea/concept that will be as universally understand. i value every relationship and connection ive ever had and each one has taught me more about who i am, what i need, and what i want. i am thankful for all of them.

 

[BrendaBear]

i certainly cant speak for everyone...i know for me, that i am not good at giving orders or tasks, and really have no desire to do so.

Me neither.

also dont enjoy the idea of "punishments". sex for me is about fun and intimacy.

Right? I am so on the same page. To me, the doing something to be punished, is all in fun. There is no punishment, there is playing together and pleasing each other. The "punishment" is just an excuse to maybe be a bit more rough, because that is desired by both (one hopes). And in my case... I might giggle in the middle of it... so if that breaks a mood... that means he isn't right for me.

now, i am much better with "directions" and choosing not to follow those directions in the course of a "game/scene" there can certainly be consequences. whether its spanking, teasing, edging...its something i decide in the moment based on how im reading my sub/littles energy, mood, and needs.

I love this...

this doesnt work for everyone. some subs/littles need the direction, they need the punishment and i completely understand and accept that, but it isnt me as a dom/daddy.

Yeah, not for me either.

i found that finding the right partner takes so much communication, boundaries, self-awareness, and empathy. it also means "kissing a lot of frogs" in order to realize what it is that you really need. but if you are open and honest (both with your potential partners and with yourself) you can find what it is that you need and through that the ultimate pleasure and connection.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

I would like to pose a question... I think anyone who knows me, knows I'm not someone to obey. I'm going to do, what I want to do. I think my spirit animal is probably a cat, because... well yeah.

You are so a cat

But I've been reading these beautiful things written here about a Dom... and so much of that is what I desire, and feel like I badly need. I'm not a Little, although I relate so much to what you all wrote about it. I need to be in restraints to tell me I am desired and loved. It is a huge thing to me. But... as someone who has always had to kind of take on everything in order to do anything... I just assume that following "orders"? Not likely. The smart ass runs deep in me. But.... there are things I can imagine (fantasize) about being ordered to do that just make me squirm and make inappropriate noises to.

I love that you're finding parts of the dialogue that resonates with you and helps you have a better understanding of what you want/need in a Dom/Domme. Ooh, but following "orders"?

I love the idea of wearing a collar - a day collar, and at the right time, a proper collar. I love the idea of being lead with a leash. Being his (or her) property. And they in turn, are mine. But... what does it mean to obey?

I don't think the collar symbolizes obedience for quite a few. Submission and obedience are not the same. Something I think it takes time for every sub to find in their own way.

Maybe I have it all wrong... maybe with the right Dom, I would be so much more gratified to "serve"? My personal thoughts have always been about pleasing my lover. Making them feel so good, they will not want to get rid of me. But.... today I find myself wondering about what it really means to obey.

Ooh, ok. Pleasing is a form of serving. In a certain way, obeying can be a form of pleasing. It just depends on your particular relationship.

What does that mean? What are you asked to do? Please help me to understand this aspect better.

Obedience I think means something different in every dynamic. For me, if my Daddy tells me to do something within play, emotions and sensations are already heightened, and I find myself wanting to say "Yes, Daddy," because I know how that response makes him respond in turn. However being the brat that I am, saying no, or testing his patience, can be equally fun at the beginning of playtime if I want to bring out the more domineering, punishing, primal side of him. Obedience or non-obedience is all a part of the play, simply depending on the mood. It looks different for everyone, and both have such toe-curling, rewarding outcomes.

 

[Qky75]

I would like to pose a question... I think anyone who knows me, knows I'm not someone to obey. I'm going to do, what I want to do. I think my spirit animal is probably a cat, because... well yeah.

But I've been reading these beautiful things written here about a Dom... and so much of that is what I desire, and feel like I badly need. I'm not a Little, although I relate so much to what you all wrote about it. I need to be in restraints to tell me I am desired and loved. It is a huge thing to me. But... as someone who has always had to kind of take on everything in order to do anything... I just assume that following "orders"? Not likely. The smart ass runs deep in me. But.... there are things I can imagine (fantasize) about being ordered to do that just make me squirm and make inappropriate noises to.

I love the idea of wearing a collar - a day collar, and at the right time, a proper collar. I love the idea of being lead with a leash. Being his (or her) property. And they in turn, are mine. But... what does it mean to obey?

Maybe I have it all wrong... maybe with the right Dom, I would be so much more gratified to "serve"? My personal thoughts have always been about pleasing my lover. Making them feel so good, they will not want to get rid of me. But.... today I find myself wondering about what it really means to obey.

What does that mean? What are you asked to do? Please help me to understand this aspect better.

I'm wondering if the averse reaction to the word obey have to do with the unfortunate interpretation of what it is to obey.

PERSONALLY speaking, I understand obedience to be a full submission to the direction of the authority even when that decision isn't one I would have naturally chosen because I trust that authority completely. I recognize through consequences the authority's decision is best for me. As the one in charge of decisions, I make sure not to take advantage of the one trusting me. They have to be given a reason to trust and that trust must be reinforced and rewarded constantly. I need to not only show you I am capable of being in charge but make it so obvious trusting me is the right idea you will want to do anything I say.

 

[TXRafe]

I'm wondering if the averse reaction to the word obey have to do with the unfortunate interpretation of what it is to obey.

PERSONALLY speaking, I understand obedience to be a full submission to the direction of the authority even when that decision isn't one I would have naturally chosen because I trust that authority completely. I recognize through consequences the authority's decision is best for me. As the one in charge of decisions, I make sure not to take advantage of the one trusting me. They have to be given a reason to trust and that trust must be reinforced and rewarded constantly. I need to not only show you I am capable of being in charge but make it so obvious trusting me is the right idea you will want to do anything I say.

i agree with this completely and there is great satisfaction as a dom/daddy when that submission leads to an orgasmically pleasurable and surprisingly satisfying experience for my sub/little.