Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[bondagegirl007]

This just in: Girl with hamster fetish incarcerated after breaking and entering Harrell's Hamster Emporium and setting the little critters free.

now, now, if we wanted to know your fantasies, hamster boy, we would've asked.

Banned for pretending he isn't totally obsessed with hamsters.

 

[kurrginatorX]

now, now, if we wanted to know your fantasies, hamster boy, we would've asked.

Banned for pretending he isn't totally obsessed with hamsters.

This just in: Bondagegirl007 posts on wrong thread. More after this commercial break.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Man in hamster suit utterly convinced he is truly a rodent, is trying to climb local ferris wheel by the pier. Unresponsive to human language, our reporter, aboard our network chopper and alongside a wildlife expert, has secured a squeaking exclusive interview.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Daringly walking into Harlem in black face, she sang the entire soundtrack to the Al Jolson version of A Star is Born.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

He took the money and run. hoo-hoo-hoo

 

[kurrginatorX]

He took the money and run. hoo-hoo-hoo

She flew like an eagle. Physicists are still baffled at this feat.

 

[DeckardNYC]

She flew like an eagle. Physicists are still baffled at this feat.

Florida hamster man goes wrong way on exercise wheel. Story at 11.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Florida hamster man goes wrong way on exercise wheel. Story at 11.

Tom: **SIGH** Well, Trisha. I suppose you know who our lead story centers around tonight, huh?

Trisha: **SIGH** Well, Trisha. I suppose you know who our lead story centers around tonight, huh, indeed, Tom.

Tom: You don't seem too broken up about it, Trisha.

Trisha: That's because it's the holiday season, Tom. I'm in a festive mood. Now, why don't you just read the news?

Tom: Our top story tonight: Local boob Deckard was tasked by the mayor to deck the halls with Christmas cheer this year. Imagine the mayor's surprise, though, when he received a bill for $250,000 for "bales of holly." Deckard has since vanished from sight and no one knows his whereabouts. The search for Deckard continues.

Trisha: (Laughing) Oh, I'm sure he's close by, spreading that holiday cheer to all the good citizens of the city.

Tom: (Looking at her) My God. You're high, aren't you? Is this the "Festive mood" you eluded to? Do you know of Deckard's whereabouts, Trisha?

Trisha: (Looking into the camera) It's the Libyans. I don't know how, but they found us. Run for it, Marty!!!!! (laughing uncontrollably)

 

[DeckardNYC]

Tom: **SIGH** Well, Trisha. I suppose you know who our lead story centers around tonight, huh?

Trisha: **SIGH** Well, Trisha. I suppose you know who our lead story centers around tonight, huh, indeed, Tom.

Tom: You don't seem too broken up about it, Trisha.

Trisha: That's because it's the holiday season, Tom. I'm in a festive mood. Now, why don't you just read the news?

Tom: Our top story tonight: Local boob Deckard was tasked by the mayor to deck the halls with Christmas cheer this year. Imagine the mayor's surprise, though, when he received a bill for $250,000 for "bales of holly." Deckard has since vanished from sight and no one knows his whereabouts. The search for Deckard continues.

Trisha: (Laughing) Oh, I'm sure he's close by, spreading that holiday cheer to all the good citizens of the city.

Tom: (Looking at her) My God. You're high, aren't you? Is this the "Festive mood" you eluded to? Do you know of Deckard's whereabouts, Trisha?

Trisha: (Looking into the camera) It's the Libyans. I don't know how, but they found us. Run for it, Marty!!!!! (laughing uncontrollably)

Alcohol? Pot? Opioid? Qualudes? Your guess is as good as mine.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Alcohol? Pot? Opioid? Qualudes? Your guess is as good as mine.

All the above? The world may never know.

This disturbing footage shows local boob Deckard walking through Times Square dressed in nothing but a bra, panties, garter belt, stockings, and black heels. When police questioned him, he stated that it was an homage to Tim Curry's Dr. Franken Furter. Since no real crime was committed, Deckard was free to go.

 

[DeckardNYC]

All the above? The world may never know.

This disturbing footage shows local boob Deckard walking through Times Square dressed in nothing but a bra, panties, garter belt, stockings, and black heels. When police questioned him, he stated that it was an homage to Tim Curry's Dr. Franken Furter. Since no real crime was committed, Deckard was free to go.

**hey, $10 a photo with the tourists. And I got a date!

Florida man sues strip club, says they shouldn't have charged for lap dances after he fell in love with a stripper.

 

[kurrginatorX]

**hey, $10 a photo with the tourists. And I got a date! LOL @ that

Florida man sues strip club, says they shouldn't have charged for lap dances after he fell in love with a stripper.

She told me she could go 68 MPH. I told her to try for 69 and she blew a rod. Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk.

he was just another victim during a holiday mugging spree. The perps kicked him in the Christmas balls and left him gasping, "But I've been good this year."

 

[DeckardNYC]

She told me she could go 68 MPH. I told her to try for 69 and she blew a rod. Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk.

he was just another victim during a holiday mugging spree. The perps kicked him in the Christmas balls and left him gasping, "But I've been good this year."

Florida man declared the leading thread killer on lit.

 

[Deprived_in_AZ]

Florida man declared the leading thread killer on lit.

Is being investigated for winning too much.

 

[jasonmason]

Is being investigated for winning too much.

This just in Dee Prived_in_AZ has been named one of the prettiest people in the world.

 

[Deprived_in_AZ]

This just in Dee Prived_in_AZ has been named one of the prettiest people in the world.

Due to such statements, jealous mermaids capsized his kayak and he nearly drowned. He now sells his story to all the news outlets. Next stop, the Oprah show!

 

[Taegul]

Due to such statements, jealous mermaids capsized his kayak and he nearly drowned. He now sells his story to all the news outlets. Next stop, the Oprah show!

The big one hit and California fell into the ocean. She now has beach front property.

Party at Deprived's place!

 

[kurrginatorX]

The big one hit and California fell into the ocean. She now has beach front property.

Party at Deprived's place!

In entertainment news tonight, Joe Dirt: The After Years was just signed for pre-production. This hulu original will not star David Spade, as the original two did. Taking up the mantle of Joe will be Literotica thread whore Taegul, who will play a poor and destitute version of our perennial hero. Joe will be a heroin-addicted alcoholic who has lost everything and has become infected with every STD known to man. It is a laugh riot guaranteed to please. Now, Kinna Getsum with this week's porn report.

 

[EmpressJosephine]

In entertainment news tonight, Joe Dirt: The After Years was just signed for pre-production. This hulu original will not star David Spade, as the original two did. Taking up the mantle of Joe will be Literotica thread whore Taegul, who will play a poor and destitute version of our perennial hero. Joe will be a heroin-addicted alcoholic who has lost everything and has become infected with every STD known to man. It is a laugh riot guaranteed to please. Now, Kinna Getsum with this week's porn report.

Arrested for impersonating a scary clown.

 

[Icy1]

Identity theft.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Mrs. Claus porn video revealed. More at eleven.

 

[DMBFFF]

"...has been officially allowed to campaign in the 2020 Democratic primaries."

 

[kurrginatorX]

In today's headline, porn producer Rusty Toole being interviewed about the relationships he has with his clients. States Rusty, "Hey baby, let me holla at you a minute, When I look at this here fine specimen of womaniddity I don't see my sister, just another marketable piece of ass."

 

[DeckardNYC]

Florida man arrested in Disney trying to give Pluto his bone.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Florida man arrested in Disney trying to give Pluto his bone.

Man threatens to wear Halloween costume all year round if marshmallow candies are not the number one confection on Valentine's Day.