Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[TTawhere]

Man threatens to wear Halloween costume all year round if marshmallow candies are not the number one confection on Valentine's Day.

His acquisition of the Disney Empire.

(Side note : you hiring for Pirates of the Caribbean?)

 

[kurrginatorX]

His acquisition of the Disney Empire.

(Side note : you hiring for Pirates of the Caribbean?)

(No, but I have this great idea for a new gimmick: Let random kids kick Mickey Mouse in the nuts. You up for playing the part of Mickey?)

Local man attempts to revitalize Blues Brothers franchise, fails miserably, ends up on skid row.

 

[TTawhere]

(No, but I have this great idea for a new gimmick: Let random kids kick Mickey Mouse in the nuts. You up for playing the part of Mickey?)

(Side Note : Dude. I'm a pro already at the Mickey part. Check my resume. That's why I need a change.)

 

[jasonmason]

(Side Note : Dude. I'm a pro already at the Mickey part. Check my resume. That's why I need a change.)

Local man arrested for piracy on the high seas. News at 11.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Local man arrested for piracy on the high seas. News at 11.

Local kayaker turned Carolina Pirate apprehended in connection to low-seas thefts. More at eleven.

 

[lilsarah91]

Local kayaker turned Carolina Pirate apprehended in connection to low-seas thefts. More at eleven.

Arrest made after man beat a squirrel to death with an inflatable pool swan, because "That damn squirrel stole my Bud Light!"

 

[JenniferSimms]

Arrest made after man beat a squirrel to death with an inflatable pool swan, because "That damn squirrel stole my Bud Light!"

Arresting for soliciting an undercover vice squad officer after he spent an hour collecting evidence.

 

[Series 6]

Arresting for soliciting an undercover vice squad officer after he spent an hour collecting evidence.

Has a copy of the Trump Russian pee tape and is willing to sell it to Fox News

 

[Guyblue82]

Arresting for soliciting an undercover vice squad officer after he spent an hour collecting evidence.

Brunette woman rampages through local mall after learning that most blondes are just brunette's that lie

Red headed woman looks on, glad she's not being called a firecracker

 

[kurrginatorX]

GuyBlue, formerly known as Gay Blade, was arrested today for holding a porn company hostage. He demanded to be placed in their new film. The producers finally agreed, but it was a trap. Seven sexy women bound and gagged Guy and the police were called.

 

[DeckardNYC]

GuyBlue, formerly known as Gay Blade, was arrested today for holding a porn company hostage. He demanded to be placed in their new film. The producers finally agreed, but it was a trap. Seven sexy women bound and gagged Guy and the police were called.

Florida man arrested after 44 years on the lam, taken back to The Cuckoo's Nest.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Local Boob Deckard is in the news again. It seems he took a short holiday, at which point the city offered to fund a prolonged stay in his chosen out-of-the-way place of New Jersey.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Local Boob Deckard is in the news again. It seems he took a short holiday, at which point the city offered to fund a prolonged stay in his chosen out-of-the-way place of New Jersey.

Florida man arrested for illegal hamster farm.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Florida man arrested for illegal hamster farm.

NYC native arrested for smuggling alien hamsters into the States. Furthermore, he was offering them green cards, then selling them to the highest bidder.

 

[DeckardNYC]

NYC native arrested for smuggling alien hamsters into the States. Furthermore, he was offering them green cards, then selling them to the highest bidder.

Florida man marries hamster, story at 11!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Florida man marries hamster, story at 11!

Trained hamster eats marshmallow man. More after this.

 

[MsLead]

Trained hamster eats marshmallow man. More after this.

Man gives free speech in the park today on his new book. "How to say made up crap with a straight face."

 

[kurrginatorX]

Man gives free speech in the park today on his new book. "How to say made up crap with a straight face."

This just in: Mystery woman mortgages house to purchase every copy of new book "How to say made up crap with a straight face," making it an instant #1 best-seller.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Florida man arrested for failing to pay $174,309 internet access bill, says didn't know he was being charged fifty cents for each post on Lit!

 

[Taegul]

Much like a Snickers bar, chicks love his nougat center.

 

[MsLead]

Much like a Snickers bar, chicks love his nougat center.

He sucked all the lollipops dry and built a house of sticks...

 

[Stillstiff]

She went mad over her work load

 

[VoraciousValue]

She went mad over her work load

Stole two million tampons over a period of 20 years. Will undergo psychiatric evaluation to understand why and what he did with them.

 

[MsLead]

Stole two million tampons over a period of 20 years. Will undergo psychiatric evaluation to understand why and what he did with them.

Involved in a deep study of teddy bear stuffings and who does it...

 

[WetBiMoose]

Involved in a deep study of teddy bear stuffings and who does it...

This afternoon she was accused of being a vampire as the people around her could not believe her lipstick wasn't blood and that she was anything less than a timeless beauty.