Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[kurrginatorX]

Was organizing a protest at an adult bookstore for horny lives matter

He tried to burn down the porn shop because it had the only existing copy of his one-time venture into porn: Candyass

 

[vidiman]

Sleeping naked in the Camel enclosure at the zoo

 

[holdingmyown11]

Sleeping naked in the Camel enclosure at the zoo

He’s one of those guys who can’t pass up the opportunity to photobomb a news camera crew. Otherwise nothing noteworthy about him.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He’s one of those guys who can’t pass up the opportunity to photobomb a news camera crew. Otherwise nothing noteworthy about him.

His Bill Murray impression was given a Blue Ribbon at the Centre County Iowa County Fair.

 

[Misshotndeep]

His Bill Murray impression was given a Blue Ribbon at the Centre County Iowa County Fair.

Won the cherry pie eating contest.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Won the cherry pie eating contest.

She was declared the hottest and deepest.

 

[kurrginatorX]

She was declared the hottest and deepest.

Trisha: What do you have for us tonight, Tom?

Tom: Local boob Deckard is up to his old hijinks again. Our sources indicate that nobody cares. Now, here's Pat Agonia with today's weather.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Trisha: What do you have for us tonight, Tom?

Tom: Local boob Deckard is up to his old hijinks again. Our sources indicate that nobody cares. Now, here's Pat Agonia with today's weather.

Florida Man claims squatters rights in Hogwarts Castle, moves in extended family of 23, six dogs and three goats.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Florida Man claims squatters rights in Hogwarts Castle, moves in extended family of 23, six dogs and three goats.

New Jerseyite cannot afford a lifestyle of lavishness so he moves entire family to Hogwart's knock-off on the southside of town called Pigmole's.

 

[DeckardNYC]

New Jerseyite cannot afford a lifestyle of lavishness so he moves entire family to Hogwart's knock-off on the southside of town called Pigmole's.

Florida Man on trip to nyc stunned to find its not really a Big Apple.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Florida Man on trip to nyc stunned to find its not really a Big Apple.

After 50 years of indecisiveness, he finally crossed the road to get to the other side.

 

[HeavyBalls]

After 50 years of indecisiveness, he finally crossed the road to get to the other side.

Public, drunken urination, in front of the police station... Just like last night.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Mugging passers-by. He tried to run, but his balls were so heavy that it was nothing more than a feeble trot.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Public, drunken urination, in front of the police station... Just like last night.

Science segment. Man make Guinness World Record for the biggest balls.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Science segment. Man make Guinness World Record for the biggest balls.

Accidently did "flame on" at a gas station. Poof....

 

[kurrginatorX]

Accidently did "flame on" at a gas station. Poof....

He was giving a speech about appliance safety and said, "Frigolater" instead of "refrigerator." It has gone viral.

 

[VoraciousValue]

He was giving a speech about appliance safety and said, "Frigolater" instead of "refrigerator." It has gone viral.

Has announced the formation of a new religion, which teaches that when you die, your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Has announced the formation of a new religion, which teaches that when you die, your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo.

This just in: Former stock market guru leaves it all behind to live out his dream as a sign twirler.

 

[DeckardNYC]

This just in: Former stock market guru leaves it all behind to live out his dream as a sign twirler.

Claiming to be Evel Knievel's secret bastard son, he is selling tickets for his jump over Orlando on a motorcycle.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Claiming to be Evel Knievel's secret bastard son, he is selling tickets for his jump over Orlando on a motorcycle.

Local boob Deckard was at it again today. here he can be seen in Times Square dressed as a teddy bear and singing Old Man River to the passers-by. No one knows his motivations for this, and he refused to offer a comment.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Local boob Deckard was at it again today. here he can be seen in Times Square dressed as a teddy bear and singing Old Man River to the passers-by. No one knows his motivations for this, and he refused to offer a comment.

Florida Man claims to have invented a process to turn rutabagas into diamonds. We're serious, folks, local eccentric Kurrginator X claims that he has developed a machine that over a three day period will molecularly transform a rutabaga into a shining diamond of the highest quality. X said he could not show us the machine, as his patent is still pending. He has, however, spent his entire life savings in cornering the world's market in rutabagas, much to the chagrin of his neighbors. He has rutabagas covering his entire property, some staring to rot and smell, but he says that's no worry, as his machine will still change it into a diamond. Apparently, there is a cargo ship load of rutabagas heading for Tampa, with X's name on them, and his neighbors are planning a legal action to make him clean up his property. Says X, "I will give them diamonds if they just wait a few months while I complete the transformation." Local police have had to direct traffic, as people have been coming from far and wide to view the mountains of rutabagas on X's property. We'll update you on this unfolding story as it goes along.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Florida Man claims to have invented a process to turn rutabagas into diamonds. We're serious, folks, local eccentric Kurrginator X claims that he has developed a machine that over a three day period will molecularly transform a rutabaga into a shining diamond of the highest quality. X said he could not show us the machine, as his patent is still pending. He has, however, spent his entire life savings in cornering the world's market in rutabagas, much to the chagrin of his neighbors. He has rutabagas covering his entire property, some staring to rot and smell, but he says that's no worry, as his machine will still change it into a diamond. Apparently, there is a cargo ship load of rutabagas heading for Tampa, with X's name on them, and his neighbors are planning a legal action to make him clean up his property. Says X, "I will give them diamonds if they just wait a few months while I complete the transformation." Local police have had to direct traffic, as people have been coming from far and wide to view the mountains of rutabagas on X's property. We'll update you on this unfolding story as it goes along.

Claimed that the Bronx was vastly superior to Manhattan. A huge parade was held in his honor up Grand Concourse to Yankee Stadium.

 

[Jada59]

Claimed that the Bronx was vastly superior to Manhattan. A huge parade was held in his honor up Grand Concourse to Yankee Stadium.

Invented the world's tiniest spy cam. He's wearing it. You'll never guess where!

 

[DeckardNYC]

Invented the world's tiniest spy cam. He's wearing it. You'll never guess where!

Arrested for trying to perform body cavity searches on strangers -- claimed she was searching for hidden cameras.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Arrested for trying to perform body cavity searches on strangers -- claimed she was searching for hidden cameras.

Local Boob Deckard is at it again, this time posting a "What would the litster above you be arrested for" on the "Evening News" thread. More at eleven.