Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[ThisNameIsntTakenYet]

No doubt this has been posted already, but:

"Hey honey, I'm home!"

 

[Javahead]

“And behind door number three, we have . . .”

 

[R. Richard]

"Wait until I tell the other girls in middle school!"

 

[ThisNameIsntTakenYet]

"Wow, it's even better when you're awake!"

 

[loquere]

Silence

 

[golden_thong]

Is it in yet? Haha

 

[loquere]

I'm a surgeon, and sorry to tell you. That's not a giant cock, it's a big tumour.
Here's my card, I can't see you personally, but I'm professionally curious, give me a call as soon as possible.

 

[JamesMiehoff]

"Yellow," she said gazing at the ceiling while he pounded away. "I think I will paint the ceiling yellow...."

James

 

[gingerotica]

I voted for Hillary

 

[loquere]

I voted for Hillary

I voted for Trump.

 

[MsLead]

Trump is a brain surgeon!

 

[TheFirmHand80]

Trump is a brain surgeon!

Is that supposed to be attached?

 

[MsLead]

Can I attach this ball and chain to you?

 

[Handley_Page]

Did you turn out the lights n the shed ?

 

[AllAmericanMale]

You talk too much.

 

[loquere]

Is that blood?

 

[awired50]

The condom broke !

 

[loquere]

The condom broke !

The DNA test result came back I am actually your daddy.

 

[awired50]

It's not contagious

 

[loquere]

I see dead people

 

[awired50]

Is that your husband?

 

[loquere]

I am the Scranton strangler

 

[seeshelly]

Front desk

Ring ring ring… "This is the front desk. We are sorry to bother you but we have receive some complaints about the noise coming from your room."

This has happened to me twice. So upsetting.

 

[loquere]

Boom.

 

[awired50]

Is that normal?