Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[JKendallDane]

"Ignore that guy over behind the drapes...he's just part of my Secret Service detail."

 

[patientlee]

"Ignore that guy over behind the drapes...he's just part of my Secret Service detail."

Hmm...Where have I read a story like that?

 

[JKendallDane]

Hmm...Where have I read a story like that?

I was a little slow on exactly what you were referring to, but the brain cells finally clicked. LOL

(that was my author DUH moment)

 

[loquere]

I was a little slow on exactly what you were referring to, but the brain cells finally clicked. LOL

(that was my author DUH moment)

Was that a line from one of your stories?

 

[SinInMe]

..ssshhhhhh...

 

[NickiC]

I am sorry I had a gas attack.

 

[49greg]

Hahahahaha. Oh sorry, Hahahahah. giggle. I'm soooo sorry, I was just thinking of a joke I heard today. giggle, Hahahaha, guffaw.

Oh, come on, can't you take a joke, don't leave.

Well FINE then.

Then, through the closed door you've just slammed: "pencil dick."

 

[JKendallDane]

Was that a line from one of your stories?

Not exactly *A* line...more like a very well hidden plotline and a giant surprise at the end.

 

[loquere]

Not exactly *A* line...more like a very well hidden plotline and a giant surprise at the end.

I'd love to read that story.

 

[JKendallDane]

I'd love to read that story.

It's in GM but fairly tame sex wise.

http://www.literotica.com/s/interrupted-6

 

[Zeb_Carter]

There's a story there that can't be told on literotica.

Not really. There have been may Great Danes that aren't of the K-9 variety.

 

[JKendallDane]

After a knock on the bedroom door:

"Mom. Dad. You said to not bother you unless the house was on fire. Well..."

 

[loquere]

After a knock on the bedroom door:

"Mom. Dad. You said to not bother you unless the house was on fire. Well..."

This is not too far off from reality.

 

[Handley_Page]

"Good Lord. That was the maroons. Gotta go"

[ the maroons, very loud bangs from a firework, are used to summon the lifeboat crews ]

 

[ukstockinglvr]

There are 37 roof tiles on your ceiling...

 

[walkingeagle]

Tell me when your done--

 

[loquere]

"Why do you look so bored."

 

[loquere]

"Your father did that so much better."

 

[Hypoxia]

"Your father did that so much better."

"Your mother did that so much better."

 

[loquere]

"Your mother did that so much better."

"Does the asshole your cheating on me with fuck you better?.... Don't respond..... just shut, Christ shut the fuck up Kelly! When you told me you were pregnant I fucking knew, when we met I told you I wanted kids. I lied. I had a vasectomy the day I turned 18, bitch! DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE!"

 

[Lia Monde]

"Yes! I did it! You're my hundredth fuck this year."

 

[loquere]

"What did you just call me? That's not my name."

 

[loquere]

"Please sign this disclosure agreement."

 

[loquere]

"It smells like it's spoilt."

 

[loquere]

"Just use my diarrhea as lube."