Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex
- Thread starter LaRascasse
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JKendallDane
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Did I ever tell you about the year I spent living in the Amazon jungle with the tribe of cannibals?
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holliday1960
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I can't find the remote.
ChloeTzang
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Are you my daughter's boyfriend?
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
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Have we been formally introduced ?
ChloeTzang
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Uhhhhh, help. I can't get my shoes out of the roof of your Dad's car
(Lessons learned: do not wear stilettos on a hot date when you expect to make out in the back seat. Its very hard to explain. I could never look his dad in the eye after that. He just grinned)
(Lessons learned: do not wear stilettos on a hot date when you expect to make out in the back seat. Its very hard to explain. I could never look his dad in the eye after that. He just grinned)
Last edited:
Green_Knight
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Where did you say you kept the rabbit?
JKendallDane
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(this actually happened to friend of mine back when we were in high school)
Bob manages to snag a date with a girl from another high school. After dinner and a movie, he talks her into going parking on a little-used road by the river. As things heat up they decide to move to the backseat and shed their clothes.
Not too long later, they are in full rock-n-roll stage when a set of headlights pulls in behind them. The lights go off so they assume it's just another set of parkers and go back to thrusting and moaning.
Before they can finish, there is a tap on the side of the car and a flashlight shines in Bob's face. He can just barely make out the cop's uniform as he hears, "This isn't what this parking area is here for, son. How about showing me some ID."
As Bob reaches for his pants to get his wallet, the cop speaks again. "And you young lady, I'm pretty certain your parents...EMILY!"
"UNCLE JOE!!!"
Bob said it was the last erection he had for a month.
.
Bob manages to snag a date with a girl from another high school. After dinner and a movie, he talks her into going parking on a little-used road by the river. As things heat up they decide to move to the backseat and shed their clothes.
Not too long later, they are in full rock-n-roll stage when a set of headlights pulls in behind them. The lights go off so they assume it's just another set of parkers and go back to thrusting and moaning.
Before they can finish, there is a tap on the side of the car and a flashlight shines in Bob's face. He can just barely make out the cop's uniform as he hears, "This isn't what this parking area is here for, son. How about showing me some ID."
As Bob reaches for his pants to get his wallet, the cop speaks again. "And you young lady, I'm pretty certain your parents...EMILY!"
"UNCLE JOE!!!"
Bob said it was the last erection he had for a month.
.
Green_Knight
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Actually, my dad's Donald Trump.
(Mind you, the idea of having totally fucked DT does have some appeal.)
(Mind you, the idea of having totally fucked DT does have some appeal.)
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
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"Are you joining in the protest at Trumps official visit?"
(there's a row going on about a projected State Visit to the UK)
(there's a row going on about a projected State Visit to the UK)
ChloeTzang
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MagicaPractica
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We should thank your mom for setting us up. Let's call her!
ChloeTzang
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I'm the last girl in my 9th grade class to lose my virginity. Congratulations.
LIVINRFANTASIES
In a Cornfield Near You
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Sadly it's your third year in 9th grade. Just proves there's always a desperate boy somewhere waiting for an ugly virgin.
MagicaPractica
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This is the police!
