Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[DeckardNYC]

Local Boob Deckard was arrested earlier this evening when his neighbor called police to report that Deckard had defecated on her lawn. As he was led away, Mr. Deckard could be heard shouting, "Her dog shits my lawn all the time! Attica!!! Attica!!!"

Florida Man arrested for scaring children with his alligator impersonation.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Florida Man arrested for scaring children with his alligator impersonation.

they are reunited!

He got caught red-handed in a blue zone.

 

[Jada59]

they are reunited!

He got caught red-handed in a blue zone.

Took the term, "Swing State" a little too literally.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Spends her sleepless nights picketing the My Pillow factory

 

[Jada59]

Spends her sleepless nights picketing the My Pillow factory

Cured Covid by putting the lime in the coconut. Who knew it was that simple?

 

[DeckardNYC]

Cured Covid by putting the lime in the coconut. Who knew it was that simple?

She's been kidnapped.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

He's the guy always in the background looking at the camera and texting his friends he's on the live shot.

 

[Justabaldguy70]

He's the guy always in the background looking at the camera and texting his friends he's on the live shot.

She is the lady who streaks across the camera

 

[Sweet_Lara]

He got busted showering at the community spray park.

 

[Justabaldguy70]

He got busted showering at the community spray park.

She got busted for joining me

 

[kurrginatorX]

He went hatless and his head blinded several motorists, causing a 20-car pile-up.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He went hatless and his head blinded several motorists, causing a 20-car pile-up.

Florida Man arrested for selling fake covid cures.

 

[MrPractical]

Florida Man arrested for selling fake covid cures.

Embezzled from his client to buy blowup dolls

 

[DeckardNYC]

Embezzled from his client to buy blowup dolls

Won a noble peace prize for congeniality.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Live from our studios, DeckardNYC,who claims to have accuratly discovered the distance from here to there.

 

[Taegul]

Live from our studios, DeckardNYC,who claims to have accuratly discovered the distance from here to there.

Because she returned to Lit and posted. All the major news outlets should immediately break away from the ho-hum election nonsense and cover valkyrie's return to Lit immediately.

Good to see ya again, val.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Because she returned to Lit and posted. All the major news outlets should immediately break away from the ho-hum election nonsense and cover valkyrie's return to Lit immediately.

Good to see ya again, val.

Gossip pages, Angelina Jolie was flirting with him, and Brad Pitt tried to pick a fight.

 

[Deprived_in_AZ]

Gossip pages, Angelina Jolie was flirting with him, and Brad Pitt tried to pick a fight.

Fell off the no-nut November wagon. He’s breaking records now.

 

[_valkyrie_]

A woman by the name of Dee, resident in Phoenix, AZ is hosting for the third year in a row Tea Party With Armadillos. Why this made the news? An aardvark crashed the event and all Hell broke loose. Viewers discretion advised.

(Greetings and thank you, Taegul.)

 

[Lastingimpressions]

She held up her local Bed, Bath and Beyond using a Super Soaker 2000 that was filled with Tabasco Sauce.

 

[DeckardNYC]

She held up her local Bed, Bath and Beyond using a Super Soaker 2000 that was filled with Tabasco Sauce.

His new self-help lecture has gone viral: "Why you Shouldn't Have Anal Sex with Cacti."

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Hooked up with Lady Liberty

 

[DeckardNYC]

Hooked up with Lady Liberty

Joined me in a 3-sum with Lady Liberty

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Joined me in a 3-sum with Lady Liberty

Hanging around with Chad all weekend

 

[DeckardNYC]

Hanging around with Chad all weekend

Political consultant providing historical background on present events.