Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[DeckardNYC]

Tried to fuck a brick shithouse after saying, "It's built like a brick shithouse!"

Judge best Grocho impersonation in Disney competition.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Judge best Grocho impersonation in Disney competition.

He held a press conference to announce that he finally changed his underwear after fourteen consecutive months of use.

 

[zoso682001]

He held a press conference to announce that he finally changed his underwear after fourteen consecutive months of use.

He won the Lottery .

 

[kurrginatorX]

He won the Lottery .

He's petitioning Matt Parker and Trey Stone to become a recurring character on South Park.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

He's petitioning Matt Parker and Trey Stone to become a recurring character on South Park.

He thought he could become an Avenger by dressing in the avatar costume and visiting the hospitals showing off his powers of inducing smiles.

 

[ImSinister]

He thought he could become an Avenger by dressing in the avatar costume and visiting the hospitals showing off his powers of inducing smiles.

A cure for ice cream headaches, finally.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

A cure for ice cream headaches, finally.

Failed at buying the ownership of the rights and recordings of the song My Ding-a-ling but will be his feature song for Valentine’s Day.

 

[Nadiascuck]

Failed at buying the ownership of the rights and recordings of the song My Ding-a-ling.

i could only assume because of her beauty, and personality...

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

i could only assume because of her beauty, and personality...

You are quite kind

Luck seems to follow him.

 

[Nadiascuck]

You are quite kind

Luck seems to follow him.

As she flicks her hair back, and the camera again picks up on her Sexy look and her wonderful personality...

 

[Sweet_Lara]

It was discovered he was tearing out the last page in books at the local library.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

The Janis Joplin Exhibit she is curating at the Smithsonian is ready to be burst on the public.

He kept flashing his you know what and won the competition for most bead necklaces collected.

 

[ImSinister]

He kept flashing his you know what and won the competition for most bead necklaces collected.

On the same day, she wins best hat competition at a haberdashery on the East side and a Julie Christy look alike contest on the West side. Then shows her trophies on live tv.

 

[kurrginatorX]

On the same day, she wins best hat competition at a haberdashery on the East side and a Julie Christy look alike contest on the West side. Then shows her trophies on live tv.

He tried to go through airport security with a cucumber wrapped in foil in his underwear.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

He tried to go through airport security with a cucumber wrapped in foil in his underwear.

Used my boulder holder as a slingshot maimed the local sheriff.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Used my boulder holder as a slingshot maimed the local sheriff.

She was found committing auto-erotica, which is weird for a woman. Luckily she was found before the noose tightened.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

She was found committing auto-erotica, which is weird for a woman. Luckily she was found before the noose tightened.

Was selling the green 4 leafed clovers from Lucky Charms as sugar veggies outside grocery stores.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Announced a run for President in 2024 on a platform of, "A case of beer in every home and a hooker in every bedroom!"

He tried to go through airport security with a cucumber wrapped in foil in his underwear.

"Please, be gentle."

 

[kurrginatorX]

Was selling the green 4 leafed clovers from Lucky Charms as sugar veggies outside grocery stores.

It was discovered that her farts are more deadly than covid

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

It was discovered that her farts are more deadly than covid

He began selling puppy poop after seeing this:
https://youtu.be/CsROq2VKlYE

 

[kurrginatorX]

He began selling puppy poop after seeing this:
https://youtu.be/CsROq2VKlYE

Farrah Moan here. We are standing outside the home of Sylvia Curtainbottom, alias known as BlackCaramelCreme, waiting to see if she will surrender or if police will have to force her from her home. Here comes police chief Shanny O'Shaney. Chief, what outcome are you predicting?

All she has to do is surrender her pants. It's a shame how she has farted them up the way she has.

But chief, everyone farts.

Yes, this is true, but she farts them up. No pair of pants should be treated like that, the poor bastards. Now if you'll excuse me ...

There you have it, folks. We'll update this story as it progresses.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Farrah Moan here. We are standing outside the home of Sylvia Curtainbottom, alias known as BlackCaramelCreme, waiting to see if she will surrender or if police will have to force her from her home. Here comes police chief Shanny O'Shaney. Chief, what outcome are you predicting?

All she has to do is surrender her pants. It's a shame how she has farted them up the way she has.

But chief, everyone farts.

Yes, this is true, but she farts them up. No pair of pants should be treated like that, the poor bastards. Now if you'll excuse me ...

There you have it, folks. We'll update this story as it progresses.

26 dead after KurrginatorX ate an entire pot of beans. The flatulence that followed is said to be more power than ricin. WMD experts have been called to his hometown to try to control the ensuing calamity.

 

[kurrginatorX]

26 dead after KurrginatorX ate an entire pot of beans. The flatulence that followed is said to be more power than ricin. WMD experts have been called to his hometown to try to control the ensuing calamity.

Remember that episode of South Park where Kyle pretended to love Cartman's farts? Well, VV really does love mine. He follows me around constantly just hoping to catch a whiff.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Remember that episode of South Park where Kyle pretended to love Cartman's farts? Well, VV really does love mine. He follows me around constantly just hoping to catch a whiff.

Florida man explodes trailer while lighting farts on fire.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Florida man explodes trailer while lighting farts on fire.

" ... and as our closing piece tonight, local boob Deckard wrote, produced, and starred in a porno. After three weeks at the venue the film actually lost money. Deckard has since hidden himself in shame and could not be reached for comment."